Searching for Roza
by darcyalex
Summary: COMPLETE! What if Rose was the one who got taken away in the attack? When Dimitri sets off to find her, he meets a very unusual Strigoi...
1. Prologue

**A/N: this preface is only up so that you can get the general idea of the alternate Shadow Kiss events, instead of having to imagine what actually happened to Rose. It's pretty similar to the real storyline, but I thought this would help.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Vampire Academy, Angel or any of their characters! But will someone please give me Dimitri! :P**

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_-Prologue-_

We fought our way through the wall of Strigoi. I must have staked half a dozen or so by the time we got through. I ran in the front, ready to attack any Strigoi that jumped out at us.

We made it to the end of the tunnel and I turned around. I saw Rose catching up, Ms. Carmack supported by her shoulder. I smiled at her and she gave me a weak one back, which made my smile grow further, almost becoming a laugh. But I stopped when I looked behind Rose and saw more Strigoi.

One grabbed Rose by the back of the neck, jerking her backwards. Ms. Carmack went forwards and one of the others caught her.

"ROZA!"

Rose struggled with the Strigoi for moment but it was useless, even I wouldn't have stood a chance after being caught by surprise. I ran forward, too far away but trying anyway. I was so close, but couldn't make it, someone was holding me back. Stan.

"Rose!" I flung around, pushing Stan away, far enough that he wouldn't grab me again. "Get off her! Rose!"

The Strigoi bit down into her neck, I heard a scream identical to the one she had used that night I caught her and watched her give blood to Lissa, so long ago.

I watched Rose's face go from excruciating pain to pure bliss and then, as a few of the other guardians wrestled me to the ground, I watched the Strigoi sling Rose over his shoulder and run off. Giving me one last look at his bright blue eyes and blonde hair. But I was helpless, six guardians lay on top of me, thinking they knew what was best. How wrong they were. Rose was being taken away by a Strigoi and everyone was stopping me from saving her.

My Roza…

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	2. Meeting An Angel

**You guys think the Prologue was ok? Well, now we're into the real story...**

**Disclaimer - I don't own VA or Angel or any of the characters.**

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**-Chapter 1-**

_Meeting An Angel._

I woke up with a fright, my breathing heavy, sweat dripping all over my face and body.

I kicked the covers away from me, getting up and walking over to the tiny sink in the kitchen.

I let the water run for a moment before filling my hands and splashing my face. It didn't seem right. I shouldn't be here.

_Rose should be with me_, I thought. It was easy to imagine her.

_Back in my room at the Academy. She had stayed the night in true Rose rebellion. I get up for a glass of water, not wanting to wake my precious Roza. By the time I come back, she's awake and waiting for me. I stand in the doorway, glass in my hand. I smile at her, and take a sip, downing the rest of the water. She gives me a smile back. Just a smile. But a smile that sends chills all over my body. The glass drops to the carpet, barely making a sound. I walk back over to the bed, the smile never leaving my face. I pull the covers back as I crawl in, bringing myself on top of her as the covers move back over. "I love you," she whispers sincerely. "I love you," I whisper back in between heart stopping kisses. We wrap our arms around each other. I pull my t-shirt off her, then my own, all the time giving her sweet, powerful kisses…_

I turned off the tap, leaning on the sink for a minute. That's how this night should have played out. When the time came, could I really kill her? I had to; I had always taught Rose how hard it would be to kill a Strigoi if it was someone you use to know. If I found her—no, _when_—I found her, she would try to use that weakness against me, and I knew I couldn't hesitate.

I went back to bed. I pushed the covers aside, because even without a shirt on, I was still boiling hot in the tiny St. Petersburg hotel room.

I woke the next morning after a dreamless rest of the night, thankfully.

I decided to walk three blocks to a small café that made a pretty good bacon and egg breakfast. I sat silently as I ate, my eyes darting all around the room, taking in everything; young party girl looking for a cure for a hangover, stereotyped waitress serving coffee to a hunched over, spiky haired guy at the counter.

The moment I was done eating, I left, leaving money and taking a coffee to go. Walking the streets of St. Petersburg I marveled in how the buildings were like art, just like I had told Rose they were. She really should have been here with me the day I returned. I walked to the train station that would take me out to Novosibirsk. From there I would hitch a ride to Baia.

The thought of seeing my family again hit me hard right then. My mother, and sisters, even my nephew. Would I be able to face them again? Who was I kidding? No matter what the circumstances, I was glad I would get to see them again.

It was nightfall when my train was due to arrive, so I walked the streets of St. Petersburg for the day.

Once nightfall came, I pulled my stake out of my bag, not wanting to take any chances.

I walked an empty street and heard something behind me. I kept walking and when I heard something right behind me, I turned, took a second to make sure it was Strigoi, and… it wasn't. I moved quickly though, pinning the thing to the wall, stake at the ready.

Who or what ever this thing was, it was a vampire, the fangs told me that much. But it had yellow eyes, and there was definitely something wrong with his face.

"You have three seconds to tell me who you are and why you were following me or I ram this stake through your heart, Strigoi or not."

"What the hell is a Strigoi?" he asked and I pushed the stake a little. "Okay. I was following because… well, I was curious. When I smelt you, something wasn't right with you, I knew you weren't fully human. So I thought you were a demon."

I pushed the stake again. "You know, I don't actually know if that will work on me, don't you do your research? _Wooden_ stakes kill vampires," he said like I was an idiot.

"You have fangs, but you are no vampire, unless some guardian messed up your face before you probably killed them."

"I haven't killed a person in a very long time, unless you count those few unfortunate incidents that have been out of my control. And I've never met a 'guardian' before, what type of demon is that?"

"What are you on about demons? They're myths. Or maybe not," I added through gritted teeth as I brought the stake in harder.

"Woah, woah, slow down. I'm just a vampire."

"Unless there is some fourth kind I've never heard of, no you're not. You aren't a dhampir, you have no human in you. You aren't Moroi because you have no heartbeat. Which leaves some mutated form of Strigoi, there I have no choice but to kill you."

"What are you talking about? I'm a vampire, the only kind of vampire known to man. Let me explain.

"I am almost two hundred and seventy years old. For over a hundred years I roamed the Earth, the badest of the bad. I really had a thing for covenants too." He looked ashamed with himself for that. What was with this guy?

"About a hundred years ago, I killed a gypsy girl. Her family cursed me. They gave me a soul, forcing me to live eternity feeling guilt for every bad deed I have ever done, and would do. So now I spend my time trying to make up for what I have done in my past life."

I didn't want to believe him, but he had sincerity to his words.

"Maybe it'll help if I get rid of the…" he pointed to his face, and then it changed; transforming into an everyday average human face. I recognized him as the guy from the café.

After another moment I pulled away from him, putting my stake away.

"My name is Dimitri Belikov. I don't believe I caught yours."

"Angel."

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	3. A Girl

**What do you think so far? I'll post more if you want.**

**Disclaimer - I don't own VA, Angel or the characters.. etc. etc.**

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**-Chapter 2-**

_A Girl._

"So what the deal with this soul of yours?"

"It's there, and without it I become something very dangerous, a whole different vampire."

"Angel... That sounds so familiar… What was that you said about that friendly personality?" I asked.

"I'm Angel, he's Angelus. And he is definitely not friendly," Angel said, almost at a growl.

Angelus. I froze. Angelus was a name I had heard as a kid growing up. He was a very evil, sadistic vampire; he killed for pleasure and tortured hundreds of souls in his time. He was always told as a myth to dhampir and Moroi children to get them to behave; he was the vampire boogeyman. Just a myth. No way was I on a train, sitting across from the Angelus; Angel now he had soul, that was the part everyone left out, he has a soul and has become Angel. He was _the _definition for a split personality.

"How am I supposed to believe you haven't become Angelus?"

"Believe me, you would know. Angelus isn't one for tricks, if he gets out, he'll try to kill you." Comforting.

"You American right?"

"Actually I'm from Ireland, but spending the last fifty years in America, it's kind of hard not to pick up the accent."

"Either way, what brings you to Russia?"

"Same thing that brings every American man to Russia, a girl."

I arched my eyebrow, pushing for more detail.

"Buffy, the vampire slayer."

Another myth, surely. The vampire slayer was created as a myth for human children back in the ages when the world knew about the existence of vampires. She was a legend created to make the humans feel safe. As time wore on and vampires became the myth, she did too.

But again, maybe there is more truth to fiction than people believe.

"Why are you looking for the vampire slayer? She's not real."

The look he gave me put me on edge. "To every generation there is a chosen one. She alone must fight the forces of darkness and evil. She is the slayer."

"No."

"Yes, and she's not _the _slayer anymore, just _a_ slayer. Her little wicker friend cast some spell that made all the potential slayers into actual slayers." More than one slayer? Now the Moroi world had a problem.

"That still doesn't tell me why you're in Russia." Hopefully he'd come to stop her. Wait, vampire with a soul.

"She's missing," he explained. "She got wind of some evil vampire business going down and so she came up here to stop it.

"Some vampires are making a mess of some small town in Siberia. Another Hellmouth trying to be opened."

"Hellmouth?"

"It's like door to the demon underworld. There was one in Sunnydale where she used to live. When they stopped it, it swallowed the town whole. So she and her sister moved to Italy. All the potentials are all over the world now."

"Sunnydale, California? I heard about that, they said it had to do with plate movement or something."

"Lies. So anyway, I was in L.A, running this big business, before I stopped them from taking over—story for another time that is. But I've still been in L.A for the last couple of years, stopping demons and hell there, but two days ago, Dawn, Buffy's sister, gave me a call. Buffy went alone to stop a Hellmouth in Siberia and she's been gone for two weeks. So here I am."

"You love her, don't you?" It had seemed so obvious now.

"Yes, but it's impossible for us to be together."

"I know all about that," I told him, and my mind wandered back to Rose.

"So where you headed?"

"My hometown. I haven't been there in ages."

"You've been living in St. Petersburg, so you're just going for a visit?"

"I've actually been in the States, guarding a school there." I explained all about St. Vladimir's and the Moroi world and guardians—even how Moroi, dhampirs and Strigoi were made. Telling him about my last charge, Ivan Zeklos, and how I had been transferred there. He listened the whole time, not saying a word.

"So what really brings you all the way out to Russia?"

I smiled, still staring out the window. "A girl."

"Ah. What's the story there? Childhood sweetheart perhaps?"

I sighed. "She was a dhampir."

"But you're a dhampir, aren't they not supposed to be together for all those different reasons?"

"Yes, and we were both supposed to be the guardian of Vasilisa Dragomir, the last of her royal line. Being with Rose would mean failing as guardians, Rose and Lissa are best friends and Rose wanted nothing more than to be Lissa's guardian when they graduated, until I came along. We both knew out relationship had to be professional, but Rose was something different. She understood me, saw behind my guardian mask. Three weeks ago St. Vladimir's Academy was attacked by an unusually large group of Strigoi. We won the initial battle at the school, but when we went to rescue some captives, we realised how many there really were. We were so close to the escape, she was so close to me… "I don't think I will ever forgive Stan and the others—even Rose's mother—for stopping me from rescuing her.

"Rose has been turned, changed into a Strigoi against her will. We both knew what that meant, to be a Strigoi, and I knew that if Rose ever became Strigoi, she would want me to save her, free her from the prison she is in."

"Touching."

I sighed more deeply this time, thinking of my Roza. I decided to change the subject. "So where is this 'Hellmouth' that you're looking for?"

"Some small town called Baia, heard of it?"

"Yes, I have."


	4. Sydney

**What do you think so far? It doesnt take as long to write as my other one, for obvious reasons.**

**Disclaimer - I don't own VA, Angel or their characters.... blah blah blah.... you already know that clearly.**

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**-Chapter 3-**

_Sydney._

We made it to Novosibirsk about an hour before sunrise. As it turned out, Angel couldn't go out in the sunlight, typical vampire. So we decided to stay in a hotel—well, Angel stayed in the room all day—until we could get a car to drive out to Baia. I thought I might wait a few days, just stay in Novosibirsk to sweep over it.

I went out instead of being holed up, walking the streets, and taking in the city I missed. I remembered coming here once with my Grandmother as a boy.

She took me to one of the much older buildings of the city.

"_Grandmother_," I moaned out to her in Russian—even though she could speak English, she preferred to always be translated to anyone who only spoke English. "_Why must we see all these old buildings? I want to go and look at the newer ones, like the skyscrapers._"

"_Shush, Dimka, my boy, listen._" All I heard was a siren a few blocks away. "_These buildings may the oldest, but they are the ones that have the stories to tell._"

"_Like you, Grandma?_"

"_Yes,_" she laughed. "_Just like me._"

Yeva always had the best stories to tell. She was the one who had told me all about the Spirit bonds, which was how I figured out that Rose and Lissa had a bond. I had always thought she was making it up.

As night fell, I headed back to the small hotel to meet up with Angel. Again, I went to pull my stake out, but something made me stop.

What if the next Strigoi I faced was Rose? I had no real lead on where she was, only reports saying she had left America. I came here for help. But what if she had come here; to Russia? Was I ready to kill her?

I had a sudden flash. It was my Roza, but it wasn't. Her skin had become extremely pale, her big, dark eyes had a ring of red around them and as she smiled at me, she showed off her white, sharp fangs.

_No._ That type of image was the last thing I needed.

I pulled my stake out just before I heard the swift movement behind me. A hand jerked me backwards by my shoulder and I swung around to face my attacker. A Strigoi.

Clearly a new formed one, because it didn't take long, or much effort, to get my stake in for the kill, but as soon as I had finished it off, I realised that it was only just after sunset, anyone could find the body before it turned to dust in the light. I needed help for this.

I pulled out my phone and dialled the number I needed. It only took a couple of rings for the person I needed to answer.

"Hello?"

"Sydney?"

Angel met up with me in no time, but then, I was only two blocks from the hotel when I had been attacked. We waited around for Sydney, I wanted to introduce her to Angel, I thought she deserved to know about him.

I had only had to deal with Sydney a few times. My first night when I arrived in St. Petersburg, I killed a Strigoi and just called another alchemist I knew, he gave me Sydney's number. I called her a few times before she left for Novosibirsk. I stayed in St. Petersburg for another week, not actually knowing I would also end up in Novosibirsk.

Sydney was an alchemist. She helped the dhampirs keep the Moroi world a secret from the humans. She was even branded with a tattoo that had small forces of Moroi magic in them.

"Dimitri," she said as she walked over to me. She had never been easy around me, or any vampire, and I wondered if it was a good idea to have Angel with me after all.

"Sydney, when you're done with this Strigoi, I need you to meet someone."

She nodded. "Yeah, okay."

I watched as she put her powdery formula over the Strigoi, and it shrunk and compressed until here was nothing left of it. She turned to me, expectantly.

"Sydney, this is—"

"I know," she said. "Angel."

"Yeah, but how... Sydney, do you already know about his kind of vampire?" I asked, shocked.

"Yes, his kind and the slayer. We don't deal with her much because she kills his kind." She nodded towards him. "And when one of his kind dies, they turn to dust no matter how you kill them. We don't have to worry."

I stared, wide-eyed.

"Well, we're staying here before heading out to Baia," I told her.

"Dimitri," she said concerned now. "Why would you want to go out there?"

"My family."

Her eyes widened and I hadn't realised that she didn't know that was where I had grown up. All the Moroi, dhampirs _and_ alchemists in Russia knew about Baia, and how it was a dhampir commune. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. But we'll be here for a few days," I said. I only wanted to make sure Rose wasn't here, or be surer than I was.

She turned to Angel. "And you?"

"The Hellmouth in Baia. Buffy went to stop it alone, Dawn hasn't heard from her in a few days," he explained.

"You wouldn't have any way of getting us there would you?" I asked, becoming just a little too hopeful.

"Hold on a second." She pulled out her phone and called someone. It took a minute for her to finish and when she did, she didn't look happy. "I'm coming with you."

"No. Sydney that's crazy. That journey is way too dangerous, we'll be fine; we just need transport." I didn't want her travelling the dangerous, Strigoi infested road, I didn't want to be the reason she got killed.

"Not happening," she protested. "I've got orders. I know you're looking for Rose. My superiors know more about you than you think," she added when my surprised look became more obvious.

She turned back to Angel. "She's still alive last my superiors heard," Sydney said to him stiffly. "She's still in Baia, too. Some vampire got her. Not sure if it was Strigoi or not. But, like I said, last they were told, she's alive."

"Then let's get going, right now," Angel said to both me and Sydney.

"Just slow down a second," I said to Angel, and then turned to Sydney. "You are not coming with us. If there really are _other_ vampires or Strigoi _in _Baia, then I'm not going to get you killed."

"Yes, I am coming," she continued to protest. "I don't like it either, but it's what I've been told to do. We don't have a choice."

After a moment's thought, I told her she could come. "But you do exactly as I tell you. If we come up against anything and I tell you to run, you run."

"No problem there," she said.

Turning back to Angel, I went on. "We'll leave in the morning, no way are we travelling that road at night; especially with Sydney with us. And we only leave tomorrow because you need to save Buffy. But once you get her safe and _we_ stop whoever's trying to open the Hellmouth, you do me a favour and help me find Roza." I hadn't noticed my slip up until it was too late. But I went on anyway. "I'm not saying you come with me to find her; but look for her, keep an eye out, whatever."

"I think you've got yourself a deal," he said with a smile. Sydney just nodded at me.

And we walked back to the hotel, preparing for the next day's journey.

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**Do you think it's turning into too much of a Blood Promise repeat? Review and let me know your thoughts!**


	5. 1972 Citroen

**I have decided to write from other POV's. So I hope you enjoy this chapter and I don't disappoint. Please review and let me know if you have any ideas... :)**

**Disclaimer - ... I think you already know what goes here ;)**

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**-Chapter 4-**

_1972 Citroen._

_Angel._

"Sydney, we are not getting that old thing."

"Oh, yes we are," she said with a smile, I hadn't seen her smile yet, but it was a kind and gentle. "Dimitri, please tell Angel that I am getting this gorgeous beauty to drive to Baia in."

"Dimitri, don't you dare! We are the men, we must stick together, don't turn your back on me now. Please!"

"Sorry Angel, it is a nice car."

No! They were really ganging up on me to get _that_ car. "Fine," I agreed. "We get the ugly piece of crap the looks older than me."

Sydney smiled, but more to the car. I walked over to stand beside Dimitri. "You really think the thing looks nice?"

He scoffed under his breath. "Not at all." I knew it. "But she already doesn't like us, so why not give her this one small feat?"

I groaned, staring at the red 1972 Citroen. This girl owed me.

"So Dimitri, why did you come all the way from Saint Petersburg to Novosibirsk, only to travel fifteen hours back in the direction you came from? Why not take the train to Omsk then only drive seven hours to Baia?" Sydney asked him. I was actually wandering that myself.

By train, it had taken about a day to get to Novosibirsk, a long trip and now we had to _drive_ fifteen hours back the way we came. Even Angelus wasn't that stupid.

"I'm looking for Rose," he explained. "I have contacts and friends already searching the bigger cities. One of them told me he was sure he spotted her here not long ago. I came here first to see if I could find her because I don't know how long I will be in Baia. By the way, I will be driving most of the way to Baia, it is a long trip and I'm the reason we are going this way."

"No," Sydney and I protest together. "It's ok," I go on. "We can all drive in sections, I'll take most of the night, and you and Sydney can share the day time, that way we won't have to stop to rest."

After a moment's thought, Dimitri nodded. We were in a parking garage and it was still early morning. So Sydney took the first drive, a little too eagerly. I decided to sleep in the trunk while Dimitri rode shotgun.

I fell asleep and waited for the other two to wake me after the sun had set.

I drove the rest of the morning and part way into the afternoon. Listening to the engine purr made it easy to keep focused.

_Sydney._

About an hour after we had left, Dimitri attempted conversation.

"So you're a car type of girl?"

I decided to amuse him. "My dad is the Alchemist in my family, my mum's a mechanic. So yeah, I like cars."

He sat silent listening to me. I went on anyway. "I wouldn't have minded being a mechanic, or even going to college. But I had to be next Alchemist. My sister was supposed to get the role, but... Give her a wardrobe to organize? She's a machine that can get it done in no time flat, coloured coordinated and all. Give her a global network? She's useless." I shook my head.

It really wasn't fair. Why did she get the blonde hair and idiot brain, leaving me with this life? Right, because for her to have my life, I would get stuck with hers.

I remembered when I was twelve. She had tried to get me to be a 'real girl' as she put it. She spent the entire afternoon putting make up on me and helping me turn some of my boyish clothes into girly, tight, 'fashionable' things. She even attempted to pierce my ears. She did the first one and there was so much blood our mother had to take me to see a doctor.

And the funniest thing was, we had a blast.

Despite the pins in my sides, the mascara in my eyes, even the emergency room visit and the one stitch in my earlobe, where I now had a tiny scar as a reminder of that day, I had the time of my life. Just sitting and actually getting along with her.

I smiled. It was memories like that that made it hard to be permanently mad at her and shut her out of my life. I sighed.

_Dimitri._

"Bit harsh on her don't you think?" I say after her sigh. Sydney seemed stuck in a memory and I couldn't tell if it was good or bad, so I pulled her from it anyway.

I remembered teasing my sisters growing up, and how they used to get me back just as nastily. Viktoria was the one I picked on most; she was the younger one after all. I sighed.

Seeing them all again was going to be hard. I hadn't spoken to them in so long. I was here to search for Rose, not catch up with my family. Why was I going back?

Oh, yeah. Because if they found out I was in the country and didn't visit, they would all make me live to regret it. And I needed Yeva's help. Angel also needed my help now.

I went to sleep for the next few hours and not long after midday, we finally found a gas station to stop at and have a break and switch drivers. After we parked the car in a heavily shaded spot, Sydney went inside to get some drinks and food while I went around and opened the boot to let Angel out quickly.

"A third of the way there," I tell him.

"Yup, okay." He rubbed his neck.

"So what's this slayer like?"

He smiles. "Short, blonde, and kick ass."

"And what's the story with you two?"

"We fell in love, I lost my soul for a while there, we realised we couldn't be together when I got it back," he explains, reminiscently. "Talk about _the_ forbidden romance, aye?"

"Yeah I know a thing or two about those," I reply.

"I know," he said. "What the deal with this Rose girl and you? Why is it such a big deal that you can't be together? It's not like she can turn you into one of the most evil creatures of the night that's ever walked the Earth."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," he said hastily. "So, why is it a big deal?"

"Dhampirs can't have children with other dhampirs, and our races are dying out. That's the problem the rest of the Moroi world would have with it." It was hard, I think of my vision from the other night. "We knew it wouldn't work for other reasons."

"That princess girl, right?" I nod. "Dude, your Moroi world sucks." He gave a low chuckle.

"Tell me about it."

Sydney came back at that moment with some drinks and snacks. Nothing for Angel. He walked off through the shadows into the store. The only people in there were the guy behind the counter and a young girl who had stopped for petrol.

Angel moved in on her. He seduced her outside his big smile. He took her around the back and after a few minutes, he came back, his face was transforming back to human when he walked around the corner.

Sydney and I just stared at him, opened mouth.

"What?" he said to us. "I only do it in emergency situations and she is still alive. I don't have enough blood bags with me to last the trip otherwise."

We get back into the car, this time, I drive.

Just after sunset, I decided to let Angel get some more rest and keep driving for another hour. Sydney was in the back seat, curled under a blanket, shivering and I didn't want to disturb her just yet. I simply reach over and put another blanket on her.

I became wary of other places than the road. Strigoi love to take victims travelling on this road at night. Sydney knew this but didn't say a word of protest when we discussed driving through the night, maybe she did feel safe with me and Angel around.

I was a few minutes off stopping to wake Angel, when I saw a figure on the road. I slammed on the brakes, but not soon enough. The car hit it pretty hard, but seemed to still be okay.

The figure was thrown a few feet away, but got up quickly, turning to face me, his red-rimmed eyes and very pale skin glowing from the headlights on the car.

I pulled my stake out of my jacket, popped the boot and got out of the car in one swift movement. I came around the front and took a defensive position.

"Dimitri!" I heard Sydney scream from inside the car, but I didn't let that distract me from my opponent.

He lunged at me and I dodged it landing a blow to his side. We eventually moved around beside the car after a few more hits. He was standing up to face me and I swiftly took his staggered opportunity, lunging my stake to his chest, but I knew it just got the heart, not enough to kill him.

"You missed." He smiled sadistically.

I raised my eyebrow at him and he looked at me confused before Angel swung an axe through his neck, beheading him.

"You were supposed to wake me as soon as the sun was completely set," Angel lectured to me.

"I thought you could use the rest." I smiled at him and then we heard noises in the car.

We turned to see Sydney, wide-eyed and in stunned shock, sitting in the back seat. I opened the door and she just sat there, staring at the Strigoi on the ground. "Sydney?" I whispered. "Sydney, are you okay?"

She nodded slightly. Alchemist or not, that would have defiantly been a frightening sight to anyone. "It's okay," I reassure her. "He's definitely new and stupid. He attacked us alone, probably thinking we were humans." She just nodded again. Poor girl.

Angel drove the rest of the way to Baia, while Sydney and I stayed in the back seat. I was sitting against the window, thinking about Rose most of the journey. Sydney leant over and fell asleep on my shoulder, and when I was sure she was calm, I put a seat belt around her, laid her down across the seat and climbed over to the front.

It didn't take me long to fall asleep, and into a dream about my Roza.

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	6. Memories And Dreams

**A/N I've tried with different POV's again, I hope they're okay. Review and let me know please :)**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Va or any of its AWESOME characters! Thank you universe for Richelle Mead!**

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**-Chapter 5-**

_Memories And Dreams._

_Dimitri._

I quickly fell asleep into a dream about Rose.

"_Rose." I whispered her name as I woke in the bed. I looked around to realize I was in the cabin at the Academy, the cabin where we shared that wonderful night together, before she was torn away from me._

"_Rose?" I called out. I heard sobs coming from the corner of the room, and then I saw her, sitting in the corner shadows. She had her knees curled up, her head resting on them as she cried._

_I got out of bed and crawled over to her, I was wearing nothing but a pair of flannelette pajama pants, and she was in a summer night dress. The fire was going, giving plenty of light for me to see._

_As I crawled, I stop a few feet from her; she was just in arms reach._

"_Rose..." I reached out towards her, ever so slowly. "Roza what's wrong?" She continued to cry and sob and I could feel tears threatening to leak from my eyes. "Rose?" I choked out. "Talk to me, please."_

"_You should have saved me," She whispered between sobs._

"_What?" I asked her, almost at normal volume. Then I just got in the slightest touch._

"_Why didn't you save me, Dimitri?" she looked up as she asked head lifting at a ridiculous, but I wasn't looking at my Roza. In the half a second I see her, I take it all in: her big, curly hair, skin so pale it was almost pure white, and the red rim around her dark irises. I'm looking at the Strigoi Rose._

"_No," I breathed._

_Then she leaned forward in a flash, going for my neck. "Roza."_

As soon as she bit into my neck, I woke up. We were still in the car on the way to Baia.

_Angel._

"Bad dream?" I asked with a bit of a sleazy smile. Belikov had been asleep nearly the entire time since he climbed over into the front seat.

I hear a soft growl come from the dhampir next to me.

"Calm down, Russia." I chuckled at my own little joke. Then I lost my smile. "So, 'Roza'? Is that her?"

He looked at me confused, obviously not realizing he had said her name aloud before. The he nods. "It's her name in Russian. She loved it when I called her that. I only ever used it when I was being particularly affectionate. To let her know I still cared for her, despite pretending I didn't." He sighed. "How long do we have left, Soul?" I didn't see a grin on his face, but I know he thought he was funny. I began to wonder what his thing was; never showing any emotion on his face. I thought it must have been a guardian thing.

"I'd say no more than ten minutes, but I honestly wouldn't know exactly."

"And I suppose there were no more Strigoi problems?" he asked while stretching his arms and looking over at Sydney in the back. She was still asleep and tucked even tighter under her blankets. It was getting close to midnight. "She's _still_ asleep?"

"Yup," I explain. "Has been for the last hour and a half, she woke up for a while there. But as it got later, the Alchy couldn't keep her eyes open." I heard her stir ever so slightly in the back seat; no way had she heard what I called her.

Dimitri suddenly took more notice of the outside. "Yeah, I know where we are, we're really close actually," he says quietly. That was a relief; I had been driving for so long. "I'm so glad the trip didn't take two days like it normally would."

I smiled at him. "Makes you glad you brought us with you?"

A sigh escapes him, just as we see the first street light.

"So what's this town like? Sydney was awake earlier and told me about a lot of the dhampir subculture. But I want to hear what someone who actually grew up here thinks of it."

"It's nice," he explained. "The subculture Sydney told you about is like the subculture for the subculture. Most of the dhampirs that live here do it to raise families away from the big cities; and in a community with other dhampir's like them. Our society believes that the men go off to become guardians while the women, although completing their guardian training, stay behind to raise their children.

"It has a reputation because Moroi men know all of this information, and a lot come for visits. Some find blood whores at clubs and stuff, but a lot visit for weekends here and there, getting dhampirs pregnant to continue our race without the hassles of fatherhood. Not all dhampir women are blood whores though." He mentioned that word twice, Sydney did a few times too, but neither of them explained. So I just asked.

"What's a 'blood whore'?"

He gave a heavier sigh. "When you get bitten by a Moroi or Strigoi, their saliva has a toxin on it that creates a pure bliss sensation. Moroi feed off what we call 'feeders', they're humans who willingly give blood for the sensation of the bite. So a dhampir giving blood to a Moroi just for the euphoria is just the lowest of the low. Rose did it, for Lissa when they ran away; she gave her blood so Lissa could survive. But to let a Moroi drink blood during sex, it's just dirty." The last part roles of his tongue laced in disgust.

"So, why do they let Moroi do that, knowing its wrong?"

"Because the saliva is a drug. You become addicted to the sensation, just like ecstasy or heroin. That's why the feeders do it, they're addicted."

"That does sound dirty. So why does everyone assume dhampir women are blood whores?" I began to realize that our longest conversations were always about our races.

"Because some _are_ blood whores." Again I heard more disgust roll off his tongue. "People—even Rose—believe that dhampir women live in communities like Baia so that they can all be like blood whores, but like I said, it's not true. There are definitely some places for those kinds of things, but some—like my family—are just there to live and feel safe."

His entire world was so complicated, I just didn't understand. I miss believing it was just the one kind of vampire, killing people and being killed by the slayer—or me.

Thinking about the slayer naturally makes me think of Buffy.

We said our goodbyes a long time ago, but I can't help but remember…

_It was the first time it had ever snowed in Sunnydale. Not a single ray of sunshine anywhere over the whole town the entire day._

_I walked across the town centre, seeing her on the other side. When we reached each other, I took her hand in mine and we walked down the street._

_When we got to the park, we watched the younger children having a snowball fight. She smiled at their fun and I couldn't help but smile at her. I felt so sad, that she would never get that with me. How was our relationship ever going to work?_

"_If you wanna go play with them, that's fine with me," I leant down and whispered in her ear. "You are still so young after all." She giggled and gave me a small shove._

_She turned to face me, walking backwards with her hand still in mine. "Well, I know how much you want to recapture your youth, from back when corsets were taking the world by storm, so you're more than welcome to go over." She smiled sadistically and I decided to tackle her to the ground._

_She fell into the soft, foot thick snow and I landed on top of her. I brought myself up over her face and looked into her eyes._

"_I know how much you want kids, Buffy," I told her._

"_Sure," she said to me. "I'd love to have little Buffy and Angel vampire feet scattering around, but I would much rather be with you." She smiled and brought her hands to either side of my face. "I love you," she whispered._

"_I love you," I whispered back, the smile growing on my face. She pulled me down to kiss her and it was so sweet and soft, just like the snow._

"_And besides could I really be the slayer and a mom?" she smiled, still gazing at me. "I've never heard of it."_

I was snapped out of my memory by Dimitri whispering something I might not have heard if I didn't have super vampire hearing. He really was a little scared to be returning home; I could hear it in his heart beat.

_Sydney._

I slept for a long time and woke up when I heard Dimitri wake and stretch. I didn't mind being woken; I had already slept for so long.

I listened to the boys make jokes on each other and call each other 'Russia' and 'Soul'. Typical idiots, I'd have to call them on that one once we were in Baia. I heard the subject drift to me, Angel calling me 'Alchy'. Where the hell had that come from? I almost sat up and hit him, but decided I didn't want them to know I was awake just yet. I listened to Dimitri talk about this Rose of his too, calling her Roza, it was such a pretty and loving way to say her name.

"Yeah, I know where we are, we're really close actually," Dimitri says. That's a relief; it would be nice to get some sleep in a proper bed. I didn't care if it was at Dimitri's place or a hotel, just as long as it was a comfortable bed, where I could stretch.

For a while I listened to the boys discuss more about the Moroi world, mainly focusing on elaborating some of the things I said to Angel about dhampir communes.

I tuned them out, my mind somehow wondering to the last day time I saw my sister.

_I knocked on the door to the bedroom across the hall from mine._

"_Come in," chimed out my sister's soft, girly voice. Once she saw me, her tone changed completely. "Oh it's you, invitation revoked, get out."_

"_Can I talk to you for a minute, please?" I asked keeping myself calm under the circumstances._

"_No," she said stubbornly and determined. "I don't want to talk to you; you'll probably just stand there thinking I'm too incapable of having a proper conversation."_

"_I don't think you're incapable," I pleaded with her. "Dad is the one who doesn't think you're able to handle a global network of contacts and work."_

"_Well I can!" Her voice grew much louder suddenly. "I'm perfectly able to handle the job of family Alchemist."_

_I stared at her, my are-you-serious look shining through._

"_Yes, I'm serious. I could totally do it!"_

"_No, you couldn't," I protested "The only network you can handle is your friends and your shoe closet!" I was starting to get really annoyed and yelling at her._

_She looked stunned. "You take that back!"_

_I stood straighter. "No," I said bluntly._

_We glared at each other for a long time. "Whatever, you can have the Alchemist job, I don't want it anyway, I'm going to be a fashion designer in New York, so go for your life."_

_Then it was my turned to be shocked. "You're unbelievable! All of that fuss and you don't even care that I'm family Alchemist!"_

_She scoffed loudly. "Of course I care! I care that you, dad and even mom don't think I am capable of taking it on. Well watch we run my own fashion network. I'm gonna take the world by storm!"_

_She smiled at me and I lost it. "I hate you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I didn't mean it, but she brought it on. "You don't think about anyone but yourself! You don't think I had dreams? I would much rather be out there doing the things I want to do. But you are too incapable to handle this and now I have to do it! Thank you very much _loving_ sister!" I stormed out of her room and into my own._

I went in there to clear the air before I left for Russia the following day, but she had only made me end up yelling a whole bunch of stuff I didn't mean.

I hadn't spoken to her once since that day. It was the only thing I would ever regret if I lived the rest of my life without saying another word to her, I had to make this up to her, in any way I could.

Suddenly I heard Dimitri whisper from the front seat, barely audible over the light noise of the car.

"We're here."

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**Now things are getting interesting... read read read! Please.**


	7. Family

**I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Sorry it takes me a while to update, it's school exam period at the moment. I need you guys to bear with me. Oh and I've gone back to just Dimitri POV. If you liked the other POV's thing, reveiw and let me know.**

**I don't own VA or Angel.**

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**-Chapter 6-**

_Family._

I knocked softly on the door to the house, not wanting to wake anybody. I knocked slightly louder, the only person who would hear that would be someone awake.

A moment later the door opened and there was Yeva, wide awake and happy to see me, but not surprised in slightest.

"Dimka!" she cried out quietly, bringing me down into a hug. _"I knew you were coming! Nobody believed me that you were still alive. But I told them,"_ she spoke to me in Russian.

I was about to greet her back, but something in her words made me stop. _"Grandma-ma what are you talking about? Why would anybody doubt I was alive?"_

She hesitated a moment, shaking slightly. _"Perhaps you and your friends had better come inside."_ She gestured us in but I moved to let Angel and Sydney in first. As soon as Sydney walked over the threshold, she tensed up just a bit.

I led the others to the kitchen, where we sat around the counter while Yeva made us some tea. She eyed Angel in a funny way; it was a look I knew well.

"_It's ok, Grandma," _I explain. _"He's safe, despite being a bit different, he's perfectly safe."_ She relaxed a little after that.

"Your grandmother doesn't speak English?" Angel asked me across the table. I looked to her and she glanced back at me.

"Nope. Not a word." Angel didn't look too pleased.

Once tea was ready, Yeva placed it on the table and sat down across from me taking a sip. Sydney drank hers and smiled at its warmth, while Angel took one whiff and placed his back down.

"_Grandma, what is this talk of people believing I'm dead?"_

She hesitated before explaining. _"About two weeks ago, we received a letter from an unknown address somewhere in Russia. It simply said: _'Your boy was at St. Vladimir's Academy when it was attacked.'

"_We didn't know who it came from, but it scared your mother to bits. She thought it was telling her you had been killed in the attack—"_

"_Wait,"_ I interrupted, knowing I shouldn't have. _"How do you know about the attack on St. Vladimir's?"_

"_Dimitri," _she said, ignoring the rudeness of my interruption. _"The entire Moroi world knows about the attack on that Academy." _That made me stop. Everyone knew about the attack.

"_So, like I said, we received the letter a week after the attack, and your mamma was in pieces, just from getting the letter. So when we didn't hear from you, we all feared the worst. Olena didn't leave the chair in your room for days, Victoria's been sleeping on the couch. Dimitri, you have no idea what she's been through. It's good you finally came."_

The thought that my ignorance to write these last few months had caused my mother so much grief, greatly saddened me.

"_I have to go see her," _I explained, getting up from my chair. _"Right now."_

Yeva reached across and put a hand on my arm. _"No, Dimka. This is the first good rest she's had since that letter got here. If she knows you're here, she won't get back to sleep."_

I thought for a moment before coming to a decision. _"Trust me, Grandma-ma."_

She eyed me, but seemed to know my plan just by looking in my eyes. She nodded and I walked up the stairs to my mother's room.

I slowly opened the door, barely letting it make a sound. I snuck over to her bed and sat on the edge. The weight shift caused her to stir and open her eyes to look at me.

"_Dimitri?" _she whispered, half asleep. I could see now that she had cried herself to sleep.

"_Yes, mamma." _I smiled at her and stroked hair out of her face.

"_I must be dreaming," _she whispered even softer.

I chuckled lightly under my breath. "_I love you, mamma."_

"_I love you, my boy."_ She smiled again before drifting back to sleep. I smiled and leant down to kiss her forehead.

I left the room as silently as I went in and walked back down the hallway, peaking into each of my sister's rooms along the way.

Viktoria slept soundly in my old room, her radio playing softly—I knew she had taken it as soon as I left, she wanted it for so long. Sonya slept with her back to the door, her breathing a little uneven. And Karolina slept a little more lightly than either, a crib at the end of her bed, making me frown slightly. If Viktoria had received my room, then Paul must have her old room—it was a bit smaller—so why did Karolina still have the crib at the end of her bed?

When I got downstairs, Sydney and Yeva were deep in conversation in Russian, while Angel sat playing with the saucer from his untouched tea. The ladies didn't pay much attention to my entrance, so I went and sat by Angel.

"Any idea what they're talking about?" he asked me, clearly bored to tears.

I listened for a moment, frowning when I found out what the topic of conversation was about. "Me," I said annoyed. "Yeva is telling Sydney about the time my eldest sister, Karolina, dressed me up and married me off to all her dolls because I wanted to play with her and her friends, but they wouldn't let me unless I did it." I shook my head and decided to stop the madness. _"Yeva,"_ I interrupted for the second time that evening._ "Is there something you need to tell me about my sisters_?" I arched my eyebrow, and she looked away from me, embarrassed.

"_Why don't I let you find out in the morning, you need rest my boy."_

I let it go and got up and went down to the basement where I pulled out the old camp mattresses, managing to not wake one of my sleeping family members in the process, despite the minor racket I made with the junk. We never used the mattresses for actual camping, just me and my friends in the backyard years ago.

Yeva went upstairs to her bed as soon as I went downstairs. Sydney and I slept on the mattresses I pulled out while we set up Angel in the basement, covering the one tiny window with a thick woolen blanket.

It took me a while to fall asleep, and when I finally did, I didn't dream about Roza.

I woke up in a haze, something didn't feel right.

I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the mattress, burying my head in my hands. Not dreaming about Rose felt like a sunless day, a moonless night, not natural.

I had dreamed about her every time I slept since she was taken—sometimes they were dreams, and sometimes they were memories, some wonderful, some terrible. Occasionally some nights I would dream about her, and after I woke up and went back to sleep, I wouldn't dream. But never no dream at all for the entire night.

I looked up and leaned over slightly to notice the sun was close to rising. I remembered that I had to let Olena know I was here, and I decided to surprise her.

I went into the kitchen and looked through the cupboards for what I needed. Everything was in the same places they had always been. Olena never liked rearranging.

After a short while, Sydney came in.

"What the hell are you doing up so early?" she asked, rubbing her eyes. She looked at the clock then out the window and back to the clock three times before she believed it was only just on sunrise.

I chuckled at her. "Making bread."

She gave me a puzzled look, which also told me she thought I was crazy.

"Olena would make this bread when I was a boy, and I loved it so much I ate entire loaves at a time," I explain, smiling at the memory… "Eventually one break, I came home and she taught me how to make it myself, because she was sick of making it for me only to have me down it in two seconds."

Sydney smiled. "I guess we'll just have to see if you're any good."

I put the bread in to bake, and a few minutes before it was done, I heard someone creeping downstairs. Olena.

She walked into the kitchen, eyes only half open, and smelled the baking bread. "Which one of you ladies are making my bread for me?"

She blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes, adjusting to the bright rising sunlight shining through the window. When she finally saw me, she collapsed.

I caught her just before she hit herself on the table. She cried out in happiness. _"Dimitri! You're alive. My Dimka!"_ she cried over and over.

Hearing the racket, my sisters didn't take long to find their way into the kitchen to see what the minor yelling was about.

Karolina was downstairs first, baby in her arms. I smiled at her. _"Dimitri,"_ was all she said, so softly. I walked over and leant down to hug her, watching the tiny and sleeping baby. I smiled down at her in Karolina's arms, amazed she had stayed asleep in all the fuss Olena was making.

Sonya was down next, and she was… pregnant. I smiled at her too and helped her down the last few steps, pulling her close to me as well once she reached the bottom. _"I'm so happy you're okay."_

"_Can't get rid of me that easily,"_ I smiled.

I had only just noticed Paul was hiding behind Sonya's legs. He was still a little shy around me. The last time I had seen any of them was when I had come home for a break, a break that cost Ivan his life. And that was just over a year before I had brought Rose and Lissa back to St. Vladimir's.

I crouched down and tried to come around Sonya to see him, but he moved around too.

"_Paul come out from behind Aunt Sonya and say hello to Uncle Dimitri,"_ Karolina said from her chair in the kitchen.

Paul slowly stepped from behind Sonya's legs and stuck his hand out to me. I took it in mine and shook it. He seemed a little less afraid as he walked over to stand by Karolina.

So that only left…

"_Dimitri!"_ Viktoria squealed from the top of the stairs behind me. She raced down them and wrapped her arms around me, nearly knocking me over.

I grabbed her back and said, _"It's good to see you too."_

I pulled away, and stopped cold. She had a huge intake of breath through her nose, and smiled at me. I nodded back and she raced into the kitchen to peer into the oven where Olena was just about to pull out the bread.

"_Mamma has not made her bread for so long,"_ Viktoria said as an even huger grin appeared on her face.

Yeva hobbled down the stairs then. _"My God, anyone would think someone had come back from the dead down here,"_ she joked. Sydney, Yeva and I all laughed but everyone else stared, shocked.

"_Dimitri arrived late last night,"_ Yeva said to them. _"I was awake when he got here and I made him not wake any of you, you all were finally getting some well deserved sleep."_

"_Grandma! How could you keep this from us?"_ Karolina said.

"_I tried to tell you," _Yeva argued. _"But none of you would listen to me when I told you he was alive."_

All my family members looked away, ashamed.

"_So Dimitri, tell us," _Sonya continued on, ignoring the last awkward moment. _"What has been happening since you last visited?"_

I smiled, glad to see the joy I had brought back to them.

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**Just a quick note for massive VA fans (like me): As of the moment I published this chapter (bearing in mind I live in Australia) there are 21 days until the release of Spirit Bound!**


	8. Letters

**I'm so sorry guys about how long it's taken me to update. So this is a longer chapter. I hope you like it. And if you have any ideas you think I should put in here, then just review and let me know.**

**Thanks for the great reviews and keep them up, without them, I feel like you guys don't want me to keep writing.**

**I so obviously don't own VA. So thank the universe for Richelle Mead. Do it!**

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**-Chapter 7-**

_Letters._

I didn't say much to my family throughout the day. Sonya and Karolina had to work and Viktoria had plans with some of her friends from school. I didn't want to interrupt their normal lives so I told them I would tell them more stories later that night.

I helped my mother with the odd jobs all day. I dug up the dead garden, making it ready for Olena to plant more for spring. I tidied the back garden, which took me most of the afternoon. I had no idea why she wanted me to clean it so badly; the back garden had never been super clean anyway.

About an hour after sunset, I was sitting in the kitchen with Olena, Sydney and Paul, waiting for the others to come home, when Angel was suddenly banging on the basement door, yelling to ask if it was safe to come out. I had explained to my mother earlier that day all about Angel, she looked like she was ready to have a heart attack when I told her _the_ Angelus was in her basement. It took her a while to get her head around the new information.

I opened the door and led Angel back to the kitchen. "Mamma," I said in English. "This is Angel. Angel this is my mother, Olena Belikova."

Angel stepped forward and slightly bowed; Olena flinched the tiniest bit, but nodded her head back to him. "Welcome to my home. You are welcome to stay as long as you need."

"That's fine," Angel replied. "I might just find a hotel in town before morning."

Olena just nodded at him once. _"Dimka, are you absolutely sure about him?"_

"_He saved my life mother,"_ I answered. _"I trust him."_

She thought for a moment. _"As long as he doesn't start killing anyone in this house or in this town, it's fine with me."_

I chuckled at her and nodded.

Angel leaned across and whispered, "Why is she speaking Russian if she knows I don't speak it."

I grinned, not looking at him. He seemed to understand.

Once everyone was home and we had eaten a large meal Olena had cooked, we sat around in the living room, everyone squished wherever they would fit. Angel and Sydney were squeezed together on the end of one of the two-seater lounges next to Paul and Viktoria. Sydney was translating for Angel, because nobody liked Angel enough to speak English for him.

All night I was telling them about St. Vladimir's and Rose and Lissa, how I had brought them back to the Academy and been assigned to the last Dragomir princess. I briefly covered about being Rose's mentor, not wanting to go into too much detail.

But of course, Karolina got curious. _"So this Rose, what was being a mentor to her like?"_

I hesitated for a moment, considering my answer. _"I don't know why I said I'd do it; she was reckless, impulsive and greatly undisciplined. I don't know how she survived the real world with her attitude. Training her was so tough at first. She was impossible. But after what happened with Victor Dashkov, and then Spokane, she changed. She was so… different. She never lost her satirical, reckless nature, but she went about everything differently. She considered things more. When she was doing her field experience, she started seeing ghosts, more specifically, the ghost of one of her closest friends, who she lost in Spokane. I was so worried about her, her shadow-kissed side effect was causing her so much doubt, and she wouldn't let me in. she wouldn't tell me. _She wouldn't trust me." I whispered the last part in English, not realizing.

Everyone was looking at me, sympathy in their eyes; they knew how I felt about Rose. _"What happened, Dimitri? Why are you here and not with her?"_

I took a deep breath. _"She was taken in the attack. Turned Strigoi. I only found out a few days after the attack. Otherwise I would have believed her dead."_

I thought back to the day I got the letter…

_I was wandering around campus, thinking a lot. Security had been re-enforced since the attack, everyone was still really shaky. So nearly no one was outside their dorm room._

_Suddenly, Rose's mother, Janine Hathaway was rushing up to me. She was due to leave that afternoon._

"_Belikov!" she called out. "I need to talk to you." I nodded to her and we continued walking along the footpath._

"_I know about you and Rose." It was all she said, but the moment made everything stop. "It was just a suspicion when I was here at Christmas, but after she was taken, the way you took it… it was clear."_

"_Janine…" I began but she put her hand up to stop me._

"_Its okay, Dimitri," she said. "I don't mind. You love her, and what am I going to do about it?"_

"_Why do I get the feeling this conversation would be very different if Rose were still here?"_

"_Because it would be." It was all she said, but it said so much to me. "Oh, I almost forgot, this came for you this morning." She handed me an envelope with nothing but my name on it._

"_Thank you," I said._

"_I'll see you at Rose's memorial, right?" she asked. Rose's memorial had been scheduled for two months away, after everything had settled down and Janine was able to come back. I hadn't even thought about it enough to consider going._

_I nodded to Janine. She returned the gesture and walked away, back to her charge to leave this afternoon._

_I returned to my room and put the letter on the desk. I wasn't ready for any letters. I crawled under the covers of my bed and slept for a long time._

_I didn't wake until I heard someone banging on my door. It took me only a moment to jump out of bed, guardian ready._

_I opened the door to Lissa, looking frantic with a piece of paper in her hand._

"_Princess," I said, trying to stay calm. "What's wr—?"_

_Before I could finish, she spoke. "She's alive." She walked in to the room, glanced around, and turned back to me, shoving the paper in her hand towards me. I read it slowly._

Lissa,

I'm glad you're okay. I was so worried about you after Nathan turned me.

_I didn't need to read anymore, it was my Roza's scrawled writing on the page. I didn't see her writing very often but it looked familiar. Something at the bottom of Lissa's letter made me look over the sentence._

Oh, and please tell Dimitri Belikov to make sure he stays connected with the world, he's not the love of my life if he's not out being the Strigoi killing god I know him as.

_The way she wrote my name, it was so familiar… I looked over to my desk, the letter Janine had given me that morning, sitting in the same spot I had chucked it. I was over to the desk in a flash, putting Lissa's letter down and tearing open my own…_

Dimitri,

I miss you, its hard being here, so alive (in a matter of speaking) and not having you with me.

I've had to run. From Lissa, from America, from you. Nathan has brought me to some big estate, it's so lovely here; you never gave it any credit when you were describing this place. I love being here and I wish you could be here with me.

I want you, but don't try to find me. I'm finally free from the bond, but Lissa needs you; she's going to need you a lot after she graduates. Because I'm going to make her life so terrifying, when we meet again, you'll _both_ be begging me to turn you. Nathan wants me to help him take out the Dragomir line, but I can't just kill my best friend. So I'm going to turn her. But it wouldn't be very me to just _do it_.

Lissa has always put herself first, _I've_ always put her first, and she's going to pay. I'm going to make sure she realises what she put people like you and me through. Moroi are so willing to put our lives on the line for them, by the time I'm finished with the world they'll learn to fight or die. Once I'm done, the world will really know who I am, and the Moroi will pay. And if you're still willing to put yourself on the line for them—for her—then you will die. Or you can choose me and be turned. You're choice.

I'm looking forward to seeing you again, lover. I must say that last, blissful night in the cabin will be burned into my memory forever, you were so great. So until next time.

Love,

Roza

_Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. I knew I shouldn't have let her get away. Every fiber of my being had told me to save her that night, and because I let her go, she was still out in the world, killing innocent people all the time._

_I looked up to see a shocked Lissa. "Is it true?" I didn't need an explanation._

_After several, heavy moments, I nodded. "Yes, it's true about me and Rose."_

_Lissa collapsed onto the bed, stunned into silence. "Why didn't she tell me?"_

_I had the answer, but I knew she wouldn't like it. "She didn't feel the need. We tried to stay away from each other, tried to ignore how we felt, for you. We knew if we got involved, it would get in the way of our guardian duties, and I was her mentor. We weren't supposed to be together. But the night of the attack, we gave in. We were going to work it out, be together and still be guardians, but then the attack happened, and she was taken…"_

_I moved quickly to the closet, grabbing my suitcase and placing it, open, on the bed next to Lissa._

"_What are you doing?" she asked frantically. How to tell her the truth?_

"_I have to find her." I continued to move back and forth, packing clothes into the bag. "If she's…" I couldn't bring myself to say 'alive', "…out there, a Strigoi, then I have to stop her."_

"_What about me?" Lissa asked._

_I stopped. Lissa was my charge, how could I abandon her? Especially with Rose threatening her like way she was. "Lissa, if she's a Strigoi, I have to kill her. It's what she wanted."_

_I couldn't tell Lissa about the threats, she didn't need to know._

"_You can't kill her!" she exclaimed frantically. "She's my best friend; I can't let you do it. Please don't kill her Dimitri, if you love her, you'll let her live."_

"_That's what all Moroi don't seem to understand." I turned to her. "It's not Rose out there killing people. It's this evil thing using her body to do its bidding, to kill people. Lissa, do you really want her to be out there killing people?"_

_She took a moment. "No. But why can't you just let some other guardian take care of it? I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard to bring her down."_

_I stopped my packing to look at her. "Rose was deadly as a dhampir, now she's faster and stronger and all her senses are more adept. And she doesn't want to be found, it'll make it that much harder. I have to do it; I'm the only one that can."_

_She grew angrier at my words. "Fine, I'll stay here then! You can leave me guardian less and unprotected while you go off looking for your lost love."_

_She started to storm out of the room, but I grabbed her wrist, making her face me. "Imagine for a moment that it was me out there, a Strigoi, right now. What would Rose do?"_

"_She would stay here with me, because I'm her best friend and she's trained her entire life to protect me, she wouldn't abandon me," Lissa argued. She really was just another ignorant Moroi in some ways. I raised my eyebrow at her._

_She looked away from me, towards the floor. "She'd stayed with me," she whispered defiantly. "Why wouldn't she stay here with me?" She looked back up to me, the anger returning. "Why would she run off just to save _you_? I'm her _best friend_! She'd pick me! I know she would. Don't you try to convince me otherwise. You're just another guardian. I'm the last Dragomir; there are plenty of other guardians out there willing to protect me. So go! You'll just be replaced with someone better!"_

_I flinched slightly, and let her go. She left quickly and I continued packing. I didn't tell Janine about Rose, I didn't tell anyone except Alberta. When I told her I was leaving, she knew why instantly, as though she knew what had really happened to Rose and she'd been hiding it from me so I wouldn't run off to find her. She told me I was welcome to return to my duties anytime._

_There was three months until Lissa graduated, if I could find Rose and kill her before then, then I could return and Lissa would never need to worry or know about the threats Rose made. If she wanted me back. If I couldn't find Rose, then I would still return, and protect Lissa. Rose would eventually have to come out of hiding to get to Lissa and I would be ready. But I hoped I would get to Rose before graduation._

_That night, I was on a plane to Russia…_

I realized that it must have been Rose that sent the letter to my family about me being at St. Vladimir's. It's just the kind of thing she'd do as a Strigoi.

Sometime after midnight, the others decided to go to bed. Viktoria offered to give up her bedroom, but I decided to stay downstairs with Sydney until she left in a few days.

Angel and I stayed up for another few hours before he packed it in the basement some time before sunrise. I told him I would organize a hotel room in town for the following night. He appreciated it.

The next morning when I woke up, it was late, very late. My dreams about Rose were common ones, the attack and the cabin. I walked downstairs and outside onto the patio. I found Sydney sitting on one of the two patio chairs that didn't match the small, round table. She was wrapped in a thick blanket, reading a novel. Closer investigation showed me it was my western novel that had been sitting on the kitchen bench after I read it yesterday. When I left Siberia, I left a lot of my things behind. My western novels were not one of those things.

I sat down next to her in the other chair. I was only dressed in my pajama pants, a t-shirt and my duster—the 'cowboy' duster that Rose loved to joke about constantly. Sydney looked up at me and moved to give the book back over.

I put my hand up to stop her. "Please, continue." I glanced at where she was up to. "You're almost at the good part."

She smiled at me and put the book down anyway. "I'll go back to it later." There was a long silent moment between us as we looked out at the countryside. It was almost sunset; I had slept all day. The she realized what I was wearing. "Aren't you cold?" she asked, exasperated and astounded.

I chuckled lightly. "I lived here my entire childhood and I have been living in Montana for the last year and a half. You get used to the cold."

She shook her head at me and another quiet moment fell down. "So, this Rose, you really love her don't you?"

"With everything I have."

"But, you're both dhampir's?"

I nodded.

"And now she's Strigoi?"

Again, I nodded.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's not your fault."

She shook her head. "Not for that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I should have, but I didn't know if I should have."

I turned to her. "What Sydney?"

"Dimitri, she's here. Actually, she's been here. I don't know exactly where she is now, but the Alchemists have been tracking her since about two week after the attack on St. Vladimir's. Apparently she's been causing a lot of trouble. She's a high-risk threat and they're working with the guardians to find her and bring her down."

I looked away, shocked at the news.

"I swear to you, I didn't know it was her," she began to plead. "I knew there was some dangerous Strigoi on the loose that I'm supposed to be looking out for, but it was only after you said last night about her that I had to double check. I got the name of the Strigoi they were after and it was Rosemarie Hathaway. When you told me about her, I knew the name sounded familiar, but I wasn't specifically on the case to track her, so I hadn't realized.

"Dimitri, she's not just on our look out for list, she's being hunted. She's planning something, something big, and it's got everyone scared. After the attack on St. Vladimir's, everybody wants to feel safe. So they've got a manhunt out looking for her."

"I have to find her," I finally said. "They could send every guardian they have to find her, but she _doesn't want_ to be found. So they won't find her. Only I can find her and stop her. You have to help me, Sydney."

She began to say something before Olena walked out and spoke to me.

"Dimka," she was speaking English, "you're awake. Good. This came for you this morning." She handed me an envelope.

The writing on the front wasn't Rose's, it was neater. _Lissa's_.

_Dimitri,_

_I'm sorry about the way I left things with you; I shouldn't have said the things I said._

_I understand why you had to go after Rose, you love her, and I was selfish to try to stop you from going after her. I hope you're okay and that you got this letter alright._

_I thought about it a lot, and I don't know if Rose would have gone after you if the roles were reversed. I'm quickly learning that I don't know Rose as well as I thought. I wish she was still here, and you were still here, together and protecting me._

_Christian's sitting with me as I'm writing and he says hello and hopes you're doing okay. And also some other things that I won't mention._

_Eddie and Mia say hi too and hope you find Rose soon. Mia also wants you to come back and show her how to stake because Eddie refuses to. (I told her you probably wouldn't either.)_

_Adrian says he's been trying to walk into your dreams, but hasn't got the time zone right, or you're not seeping well. So take better care of yourself._

_Please, do find her soon and come back here, we miss having you around._

_Love,_

_Lissa and the Gang_

_P.S. We're at court right now for the weekend and I managed to get this address from some very willing guardians, in case you're wondering. Don't worry we're not planning on going out to Siberia to find you anytime soon._

Of course Lissa managed to get this address out of the guardians at court. I just wished she hadn't used Spirit for it, brute force would have been better than Spirit. It would take a lot of compulsion to get guardians to give in, and without Rose around, there was nothing to stop the darkness from taking over her.

Suddenly, Olena was at the door again. "Dimitri, come out the back for a moment."

I followed her skeptically, and when I went outside, I saw why I had had to clean the garden the day before. Nearly all of Baia was in the yard. For me.

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**What do you think? Review! Pretty please :)**

**Oh and I finshed Spirit Bound in less time than any other book I've ever read! It was so awesome! Who else has already finished it?**


	9. Welcome Home

**So this chapter gets really interesting. Just remember, if you have any ideas, review and let me know, I'd love to hear thoughts and opinions on where you think 'Searching for Roza' is going or should go.**

**I'll try to start updating more frequently, it can be really hard, especially since I'm working on three or four stories at once (one of which is my own creation)**

**So I think we've all figured out that I don't own VA, and you really don't need to read this part.**

**Enjoy!**

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**-Chapter 8-**

_Welcome Home_

My family had organized the surprise as a welcome home party. I really didn't want to party, but they had gone to so much effort.

Either way, I decided to play along and force a smile onto my face whenever I saw old ones, from when I was a child. Not many people from my school were there, they'd all moved away, to guard or be guarded.

One face stood out more than any of the others. Alice Conta.

Alice was Ivan's partner, he always joked that the two of them were engaged to be engaged. I guarded Ivan, she had her own guardians; she was royal too. She had sandy blonde hair that sat straight down her back when she wore it out; tonight she wore it loosely up, curled. Her brilliant green eyes blended so well with her light hair and slightly tanned skin. She'd grown up in Australia and when I had first met her, she hadn't spoken a word of Russian, but she had decided to learn, for Ivan. She was still rusty.

"Dimka," she said softly, with a smile.

I groaned. "I told you not to call me that, I hate it when my family does, but I can't stop them. You on other hand…" I got a little closer, creating a mock-threatening air.

She laughed at me. "You can't scare me, Dimitri." I raised my eyebrow at her.

I moved back and we stared silently for a moment. "It's so good to see you again," she finally said. She had such a soft voice. Her accent was thin; she'd spent too much time in Russia. I remembered when she told me she never wanted to lose her Australian spirit; she wouldn't let Russia take it away. "Why didn't you stay? I lost my guardians that night too, I asked you to stay, but you refused."

"Because," I began, taking a deep breath and looking away from her. "I couldn't look at you after what happened. It was my entire fault Ivan died; I couldn't be with you without that guilt consuming me."

"You left me, and Russia, because of your guilt over Ivan's death?"

"Guilt over that… and other things." I looked up at her, and saw it in her eyes, that spark she always used to get when she looked at me. So I looked back away.

"Hey," she said, bringing her hand to my face. "We had something Dimitri, the spark I had with Ivan couldn't light a candle compared to what we had. My offer still stands; guard me and we could have a life together."

She sounded like Tasha, when she asked me to leave the Academy to guard her; she offered me a life with her and I turned her down so I could stay with Rose, and Rose wasn't here anymore. Wait a minute, no I didn't. I turned Tasha down because I _loved_ Rose, because I would never feel for Tasha what she felt for me, or what I felt for Rose. That was why I stayed with Rose.

"No," I said sternly. "Ivan loved you, and you loved him, I was just his guardian. That's why I couldn't stay. After he died, I knew you would want this; you would want there to be an '_us'_. But, Alice, I couldn't do that to him, especially when I don't return the feelings."

She dropped her hand and I looked away. "That's a lie," she said firmly. "You just think you don't love me because they raise all you guardians to never open your hearts. You never get to know what love is because you're trained not to _let_ yourself. There's only one way to find out if you could ever love anyone that much," she whispered seductively, but her attempts would never be successful.

"No, it's not a lie. I didn't return the same feelings he did; he loved you much more than I ever would. I was his _friend_, not just his guardian, Alice," I whispered a little harshly, but then returned to a more normal tone, "And, for the record, I can love that much, just not for you."

She eyed me cheekily. "Did you meet someone in the States?" My gaze snapped to hers for a second, and it was enough for her to start making unsure assumptions. "You fell in love with some _American_ girl?" She didn't try to hide her despise on the word _American_, which made me a little angry.

I moved closer, giving the same stance I had before; this time there was no mockery in the movement. "She is _not_ just some American girl. I love her despite the fact some find her undisciplined and satirical, it's why I love her. She's so reckless and yet, so serious about her career. So you say another bad word about her, and your guardians are going to have a fight on their hands."

"Okay." She brought her hand back to my cheek, so softly. It reminded me so much of when Rose used to do the same thing, in those brief moments where we left our guardian barriers slip, and our affections show through. I looked back up to Alice as she moved her head closer to mine, she was going to kiss me, and I wanted to pull away, but she didn't want to let me. Her gaze held mine where it was, and there was nothing I could do, the pull for that kiss was too much…

Then Viktoria interrupted us with a clearing of her throat.

I pulled away so quickly you could have mistaken me for a Strigoi and Alice dropped her hand and let her eyes lose mine. I frowned at her, confused and frustrated.

"Why excuse me, good sir," Viktoria said, using a very posh voice, "May I trouble you for a dance?" She curtsied to me as she said this and I smiled at her.

"Why of course, young madam," I said with a bow, mimicking her tone. I walked over to her and held out my arm, pushing my shoulders back to seem taller. "May I?" I asked, still with the posh tone, gesturing with my free hand to what could loosely be called the dance floor on the grass.

It reminded me so much of parties when we were still teenagers. None of the adults would dance with Viktoria because she was short and young; they all wanted the pretty ones they could legally flirt with. So I would always offer to dance with her, using the same tone she had just used, we would act like royalty—the British human kind—and Viktoria would get her dance amongst all the adults.

My thoughts were on Alice for the most part though. I knew what she had done and I wasn't happy, but I knew I couldn't make a scene in front of so many people, especially not Viktoria.

I leaned down to her so she could hear me over the music. "Thanks for the rescue," I whispered to her.

I pulled back and she looked right at me. "No problem, but were you really about to do what it looked like you were about to do?" I frowned again in spite of myself. "She's nothing but trouble Dimitri, she's been living in this town ever since Ivan died, and all she's been doing is stirring up mischief, like the Conta she is." So it ran in the family, judging from what I had seen of Camille Conta at St. Vladimir's. "I don't know why she didn't go back to Australia, nobody does."

Viktoria's words made me think harder. I would have expected Alice to go back to Australia after Ivan's death, too; but she hadn't. There was something keeping her in Baia.

I pushed the thoughts of Alice to the back of my mind for the rest of the night, because once Angel woke up, things got very interesting.

With the party packed full of dhampirs, everyone wanted to stake first and ask questions later, the way we were all trained. Just as one man, Rozer Dush, an older dhampir who had retired in Baia was about to strike Angel, I intervened.

It wasn't hard to bring him down, a simple swift of my arm and his stake was across the yard, caught by another guardian. I hit him back with a hit to the chest; just like I did to Rose the first night I met her…

_"Leave her alone," she growled at me. "Don't touch her."_

_I kept my face blank and raised my hands, hoping to convey that I wasn't going to harm anyone._

_"I'm not going to—" I tried to explain, stepping forward._

_Rose attacked, or tried to attack anyway. I knocked her away a little harder than I had meant to; I had forgotten that she was just a novice who hadn't properly trained in two years, and that she had just given Vasilisa a lot of her blood. She started to fall towards the pavement at a hip-first angle. I knew it was going to hurt; and I was going to let her, too, but I reached out and stopped her, grabbing her arm just as fast as I had deflected her. But it hadn't been my choice, I was honestly going to let her fall as a small punishment for being stupid enough to try and attack me. Instead my body had made me save her._

_While I held her, my gaze wandered down to her neck, staring at the dark patch of blood that had partly started to dry. I noticed Rose put the tips of her finger to her neck and pull her hand away, looking at the blood before using her hand to bring her hair back over her shoulder to cover the wound._

_She jerked out of my hold and I let her go freely. Rose stepped back towards the princess and when she looked like she was about to strike again, Vasilisa grabbed her hand and whispered for her not to._

_Rose looked like she wasn't going to back down, but suddenly, like Vasilisa had made her be calm, Rose sagged in defeat. I carefully stepped forward; worried I would set her off again. I turned to Vasilisa and bowed to her. "My name is Dimitri Belikov," I told her, hoping she would calm if I introduced myself first. "I've come to take you back to St. Vladimir's Academy, Princess."_

That brief memory was enough to make me lose focus. Only Roza…

Rozer took a swing at me, but it was Olena who stepped in.

"Rozer, enough." Her words were fierce; sometimes it was easy to forget that she was still a fully trained dhampir, just like the rest of us. "I think it's time you left. Angel is a guest in my home, and I will not permit you to attack my guests. Now go."

He left, swiftly, without question. After that, nobody said anything bad to Angel, mostly they just avoided him. The few brave souls who dared go near him, questioned him little, mostly stuff about who he was, where he'd come from. Only two or three dared question his state—his age, his soul, the effects.

I stood by him, but at a safe distance, just like a guardian, ready to step in if anyone else caused trouble.

"Would you like this?" A guardian had approached me, holding out Rozer's stake to me.

"No," I said quietly. "You keep it, I have mine."

He looked between me and the stake for a few seconds, before shrugging and putting the stake in the inside pocket of his coat. "My boss would like a word with you, Belikov."

"Well," I said, "tell your boss, I'm busy playing guardian to another vampire at the moment, so he will have to come to me. And who is your 'boss' anyway?"

"Abe Mazur," the guardian replied. "And he won't be pleased if he has to come to you."

I stiffened a little at the name Abe Mazur. He was a dangerous man and I didn't want to see him even more now. "Well, I'm busy. So tell him to come back another time."

The guardian walked away without another word.

Sydney finally came outside late into the night. Everyone was still partying wildly around me, but some of them were so drunk, they'd forgotten all about me.

Sydney handed my book over to me; the one she'd been reading earlier.

"That's so sad," she said, sounding like she was on the verge of tears. Then she hit me. It was just a slap to the arm, but she had some hit on her. "Why didn't you tell me John ended up killing Emily?"

"You didn't ask," I said with a laugh.

She glared at me. "But why? Why write a story that sad? John and Emily were perfect together. You can't just destroy that! What kind of crappy writer kills the girl after all that heartache they went through?"

"Uh, a crappy one?" I said, trying to lighten her sad mood. Which earnt me another slap on the arm.

"But_ why_? And why did John have to do it? I will never understand authors. They never think of what the reader might want. I wanted a happy ending; especially after everything the two of them went through !

"John, the mayor's son, raised in a clueless world, only to discover how real everything was once he had the courage to leave." Her voice was filled with awe as she spoke. "And Emily, Emily the criminal, the crook, raised by thieves, always knowing how tough the world was." I wondered if Sydney knew I had read the book at least a hundred times, but she seemed to be recapping more to herself.

"Meeting by chance as he went to the bridge over the river for a swim, and she went to kill herself. And then he sees her jump and dives in after her," Sydney gave an awestruck inhale of breath. "She tries to convince him the world's a horrible place to live, so he sets out to prove her wrong. They become so close and fall in love, only to get told they can't be together, their parents telling them to never see each other again, it would never be accepted in society. They try to fight it, but can't.

"And when they _finally_ decide they can't resist, he kills her!"

"You know, Sydney," I told her, "there is a lot more to that book than the romance. Hell, I didn't even know that the romance element played such a big role in the book."

"Of course you only saw the action scenes," she chastised. "But this book… wow." Her voice turned sad again when she spoke next. "He finally got to become sheriff, but he was going to give it up for her, he knew they couldn't be together if he was sheriff and she was a criminal. So she promised him she would stop her life of crime, so he could have his dream. And then one night, he stops a robbery in progress at the tavern, and he shoots one of them right in the chest. Emily, he shot Emily! And all he can do is watch her die in his arms, by his hand! It's so sad!"

She began to cry, Sydney actually began to cry, so I brought her close for a hug. She needed it.

Of course I'd only read the action in the book; the gun fights, the running for your life, the heart stopping words leaping out at me from the page. But the romance…

"You know who John and Emily remind me of?" Sydney said through tears into my chest. _Don't say it Sydney, for the love of God, don't say what I know you're about to._ "You and Rose. I mean, I know I don't know her or anything, but…"

And there it was. Everything I had tried so hard not to admit over the last month, right the in those simple words. _You and Rose._ She was right, but I didn't want the words to be true, so I didn't say them.

And just like that, I realized that I couldn't put it off. Staying with my family was nice, and I loved staying in Baia with them, but I couldn't let them protect me from the truth forever.

"Sydney," I said quickly. I hadn't been listening to her ramble on about me and Rose, but I needed her to listen to me. "Go back to Novosibirsk. Or St. Petersburg, I don't care. But I want you to go first thing in the morning. Get out of Baia and don't look back, do you understand?"

"Why?" she sounded concerned. "Dimitri, what's going on?"

I ignored her, she had to listen to me, not ask questions. "Just, please. Leave Baia. Where's Angel?"

"Um," she looked around, "over there." She pointed to a group of guardians standing around gleefully with drinks in their hands, Angel among them. Obviously their drunkenness had taken away their fear of him.

I walked over briskly. "Angel," I said urgently, dragging him away from the guests.

"Dimitri, buddy," he sounded drunk. "What going on?"

"You said that this Buffy, the slayer, is here in Baia?" Immediately, he became serious, any trace of drunkenness gone from him. He nodded. "Then we find her, as soon as we can. And then we get out of Baia and start looking for Rose."

"Wait," he interjected. "I thought the plan was Rose first, then Buffy."

"Angel," I started like he was kind of an idiot. "We're already in Baia anyway, and if Buffy really is the mythical vampire slayer, then we could use her. Rose might not be travelling alone, and then I'm going to need the slayer to help me." Angel nodded, to show he was following along. "But no matter what, whether Buffy helps us or not, Rose is my kill. If anyone goes for it before I get a chance, then there will be hell to pay."

"No, I get it dude."

"Okay." We finally had a working plan. We both started walking for the house. "Now, Baia isn't as big as the larger cities we've been searching in, but it's still substantial. Do you have any idea where Buffy or this Hellmouth could be?"

"I do." It wasn't Angel that had spoken, it was Sydney. She was walking behind us, obviously listening.

Angel and I stopped walking, and turned slowly to face her. "Sydney, what are you talking about?"

"Well," she began nervously. "In all fairness I tried to tell you earlier this afternoon, but then your mother interrupted us, and the party was happening, so I just thought—"

"Sydney," I interrupted more harshly than I should have. I moved closer to her and put my hands on her upper arms, bringing my eyes down to level hers. "Do you know where Buffy is?"

She nodded. "And Rose."

My heart stopped and I clenched my hands tighter on Sydney's arms, she flinched and I loosened the grip. "Sydney," I said more slowly than necessary, "Where are they?"

She made a face that told me she feared telling me the truth.

"Do you know exactly where?"

She nodded, "A hotel over the Hellmouth," she whispered, hanging her head. After a pause long enough to have m head reeling, but not long enough for it to come to any conclusion, Sydney took a deep breath, bracing herself, and spoke. "Rose has Buffy captured in Baia."

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***Gasp* Bet you didn't see that one coming! Coz I sure didn't; no seriously, I had no idea until I got to the end of the chapter and thought, yes, that's perfect! Lol. Told you worriers that Buffy would be in it, or will she? I was thinking about maybe she'll already be dead when they find Rose… ? Yes or no? Haha!**

**At this point I think I should point out that I have had a fair few wonderful reviews from a few readers, and I think I owe them some thanks, because if they didn't review, I wouldn't write, that simple. What's the point in writing if no one's reading?**

**So thank you to:**

**_Miizz April, ImaVampireIBiteAndStuff, Mordanyes, Mrs. B. Winchester-Belikov, and, Darkness Flowers._**

**I'm loving your fanfics too, and you should all keep writing!**

**Keep reading and reviewing and you'll keep inspiring me! **

**And remember, you are allowed to tell me if I'm crap. That will only help me get better :)**


	10. Bond Mates

**I really like this chapter. I think I've done well. But that ultimately comes down to you guys. Just review and let me know your thoughts.**

**So we get to meet Mark and Olena (-just for a spoiler!) and we get to experience the cabin scene in Dimitri's POV (-another spoiler!), because I **_**really**_** wanted to write that scene and didn't think I could wait to use it in my Dimitri POV fanfic.**

**I really don't think I like the chapter name on this one, if you guys can think of something better please let me know! I would appreciate it… but not 'Roza', 'That Night', 'Addala's Mechta' or 'Olena and Mark'; I already threw those ideas out or decided to use them for later chapters.**

**Oh, and Vampire Academy is not mine (duh!)**

**ENJOY!**

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**-Chapter 9-**

_Bond Mates._

_Addala's Mechta._

I knew the place well, I had spent a lot of time there myself. _Addala's Mechta_ was Ivan's hotel, the small investment he made in Baia, and it was named after Alice.

Addala was a Russian form for Alice, like Roza was for Rose._ Mechta_ roughly translated to 'dream'. And when Ivan had bought the property in town, he knew his plan for the vacant lot. _Addala's Mechta_ was one of the most high class hotels in Baia, and it was specifically built for the Moroi who are constantly visiting. It had wards and guardians all over the place; so how Rose was there, was beyond me.

I wanted to go over there right away; my knowledge of the hotel was still sharp and clear. I knew every exit and secret passageway. I could easily sneak in. But there were still so many holes in that plan.

And Yeva had suddenly come and ask for me to join her by a couple she was standing with and talking to earlier.

"_Dimka,"_ she said in Russian. _"This is Mark and Oksana, they live on the outskirts of town, and I have invited them here to talk with you."_

"_Hello,"_ I said to them. _"It's nice to meet you both."_ All I wanted to do was get out of there and go to find Rose, but I knew I had to be polite.

"_You too,"_ Mark said. It was harder to see in the late of the night, but I realised that Mark was a dhampir, and Oksana was a tall, slim, Moroi. And they both had on wedding rings. On first impression, Mark didn't seem like the type to ditch his guardian duties, so I figured he must b her guardian, but they were one of the few pairs that were married.

"_I'll leave you to it then,"_ Yeva told us, and then she walked away, leaving the three of us in an awkward silence.

As soon as I felt Yeva was at a great enough distance, I turned to Mark and Oksana. _"I am deeply sorry to be rude, but there is something I need to take care of."_ I felt a slight tickle in the back of my mind as I walked away, it was so strange.

"_Don't,"_ Oksana said to me. "_You shouldn't. You should let her go."_

I stopped mid-turn, and turned back to face them, slowly. "_What did you say?"_

"_Rose is lost to you Dimitri; you need to let her go, let other guardians take care of it."_

"_Oksana,"_ Mark chastised under his breath.

"_I'm sorry Mark,"_ Oksana said to him forcefully. _"But this poor boy has only come back to Russia to find her and it's only going to leave him heartbroken."_

I interrupted their discussion with a quick, curious question, _"How could you possibly know that?"_

That was when Oksana had realised her mistake in telling me what she had. _"See?"_ Mark said. _"Calm down for a second, he doesn't know anything yet."_ Clearly Mark had forgotten I was a dhampir myself, because he was whispering to Oksana, hoping I wouldn't hear. And he continued to do so, oblivious. _"No, it'll be fine, nobody knows, how could he possibly put it together? I know, but that doesn't mean she would have told him. Stop yelling at me!"_ He added the last comment in a higher whisper, and then it clicked in my mind.

"_You're bonded."_ They both stared at me, shocked. _"I know all about Spirit and shadow-kiss bonds. But how did you know about what I was in Russia for?"_

Mark looked to Oksana, and then turned to me. _"She brushed your mind. Read your thoughts for a brief moment. She knows how wrong it is,"_ he added more to her than to me.

"_I'm telling you,"_ Oksana spoke up, _"you have to leave Russia, leave Rose to the guardians who are hunting her down."_

"_I can't," I whispered. "Rose is dangerous,"_ I continued at normal volume, _"she was only seventeen when she was turned, so close to her birthday and she had already killed countless Strigoi. I was her mentor; I'm the only one who can kill her. She was destined for so many great things. She was my shadow-kissed Roza."_

"_She was shadow-kissed?"_ Mark asked, disbelieving.

"_Yes and its effects were starting to take their toll on her,"_ I told them. _"One of the last times I saw her, she was so violent. Lissa had been tortured by some idiot Moroi at school and when Lissa used Spirit against them, the darkness came over. Rose took the darkness from Lissa. The power of the amount of darkness Rose had consumed was stronger than I'd ever seen it. I took her and I calmed her down. I told her she was strong enough to fight it, she was so, so strong..."_

"_...It's why I love you."_ I finished in memory.

_She pulled herself tighter into my chest, "You shouldn't. I'm going to be something terrible. I might already be something terrible."_

_Her words hurt me more than I wanted to admit. I pulled her back out of my arms and put my hands on the sides of her face, brushing her tears with my thumb._

_"You aren't. You won't. I will not let you. No matter what, I will not let you…"_

_Her face changed, she was letting her love for me show through, and it made it hard to resist her. I let my hands fall. I wanted to hold her my arms, I wanted to kiss her and wrap her in my love. But I couldn't, if I gave in now, there would be no turning back._

_She sat up onto her knees so that her eyes were level with mine and put her arms around my neck, slowly appraising my face and the world slowed to an almost stop. My heart was racing so fast. No, I can't give in, not now... but she is so distraught, so upset, I don't want to see her this way, I want her to be happy, I want to be the one to make her happy._

_She leaned into me pressing her lips slowly and gently onto mine. She was being careful, not wanting to push me, but no matter how hard I fought, the moment her lips made contact with mine, all hope of fighting was lost. I parted my lips and she followed my movements, neither of us resisting anymore. I reached up and caressed the back of her neck slowly with my hand._

_She moved closer to me, her hand moved up and felt soft on my cheek. Every trace of life that had vanished from her earlier was suddenly back, vibrant and ready, bringing back my Roza. We increased the passion in the kiss, and we were suddenly clinging to each other like if we let the kiss go, the life in her would fade away again._

_Careful—oh, so careful—not to break the kiss, I pulled her over to the bed. She tried to get closer to me as I laid her down underneath me, but there was just no room left between us. But she wouldn't allow it. She ran a hand through the back of my hair, still trying to lose all traces of air between us. I traced her body down to her waist, lingering on the skin under her shirt for a moment before continuing down to her thigh, where I pulled it up and over me, hoping that would satisfy her needs for no space between us._

_She let a short gasp escape her mouth and we pulled away. Our breathing was deep and all we could do was stare at each other, deeply intent on not breaking our gaze. It was so much like the night of Victor's lust charm, I wanted it and I thought nothing would stop me from getting it, but I knew it wasn't right._

_"We can't …" I breathed._

_She nodded, "I know." She bit her lip in defeat._

_But unlike that night, oh, so long ago, there was nothing making us do this, except the pure desire to be with each other. And there was no necklace to throw away and make all our desires vanish._

_So when I brought my lips back down to hers, there was nothing to stop us and there was no going back..._

I pulled myself out of the memory, I was too worried I would break down in front of Oksana, Mark and the few people still left in the backyard.

"_Are you a Spirit user Olena?" _I asked.

"_Yes,"_ she answered._ "And Mark is my bond mate."_

"_So, he's shadow-kissed too?"_ I asked, looking to Mark.

"_Yes."_

"_How do you both know about Spirit? It's so rare, how is it you have so much knowledge in it?"_

"_Well,"_ Mark began. _"We knew another Spirit user, but he has long gone into hiding. He's gone a little crazy since he lost his bond mate."_ There was that term again. It was strange, hearing a shadow-kissed person be called a 'bond mate'.

I looked across the yard and saw Angel standing on the back porch, looking at me, waiting for me to go to him and take action. _"I'm sorry,"_ I told Mark and Olena again. _"But I have to go, please, do come back soon. I would love to talk to you both some more about Spirit."_

I turned and walked away, they didn't stop me this time, but I did feel the same slight tickle sensation in the back of my mind that I had before. Then Oksana would know how important this was to me.

"Everything okay?" Angel asked when I came back into the house.

"I don't know," I told him. Sydney walked into the living room with us when she heard me come back inside. "Listen, I say we go out tonight and scope the place. Find out how Rose, who is now one of the world's most dangerous and wanted Strigoi, got in to a hotel specifically built for Moroi to visit."

"But we don't have a floor plan or anything," Angel noted.

"I know that place inside and out," I said. "The man who built that hotel was my charge and friend, until he died. He loved to stay there and loved to give me the opportunity to visit my family. The day he died he was wandering through Baia. He'd given me day off to visit Olena and everyone else. He was attacked; there was nothing I could do to save him.

"But he designed the place, and because he loved to stay so much, I learned the floor plans inside and out, it was my job. So getting in undetected and sneaking around without Rose knowing isn't a problem, I just need to know more about what she's doing in the hotel over the Hellmouth."

"Alright," Angel agreed. "We go tonight."

We left an hour and a half before sunrise.

Angel and I hid out in the bushes across the street; no one could see us in the dark as long as we stayed completely still.

Just when I thought maybe Rose wasn't going to show herself tonight, I saw her walking down the street. It was hard to see her in the dark and with her Strigoi features hard to see, it made it hard to believe Rose was Strigoi.

What I saw next was the biggest shock I didn't expect from our little scouting mission: Alice walked to the entrance of the hotel, greeting Rose as she came to the door. That was how Rose had gotten into the hotel, Alice was _helping_ her. They exchanged words and Rose turned just before walking into the hotel, looking out to us across the street. I moved unknowingly, Angel stopping me from making my move then and there. But the bush had moved. I stilled myself, not making another move. All I could do was hope that Rose hadn't seen us.

She walked inside, and I felt I could breathe again. It was so strange, seeing her again. But I knew it had been her, last night in town…

_I was walking across town, into the grocery store. It was quite chilly and I instantly thought about when Rose used to complain how Siberia must be so cold. That put a smile on my face._

_Just as I walked out of the store, I saw her. She was directly in front of me, across the street. I crossed the street, trying to get to her. Surely, _surely_ I had to be dreaming, imagining this. A truck past, something that never happened in Baia, and she was gone. When I reached the other side, any trace of her gone…_

But if Rose was in Baia now, then maybe I hadn't imagined her, maybe she knew I was back in Baia, and she was following me, taunting me.

I would have preferred to stay outside the hotel until after sunrise, but with Angel with me, we had to hurry back to the house. We crawled out from under the bush and I was caught, looking up into a third floor window, with the light on. All the windows in the hotel were designed with an extremely dark tint, to keep the sunlight out, but light from the room seeped outside, barely. I saw people moving around and wondered if Rose was in that room. The scene strongly reminded me of the night I first met Rose and brought her back to the Academy. Oh, how I wanted her to look out the window now and let her hair brush around her face in the breeze, like it had. I wanted her to look at me and for me to see the Rose from that night, the dhampir Rose; the Rose with a soul.

I felt something behind me. A Strigoi.

Rose had her nausea to tell her when Strigoi were nearby. I had years of experience. I turned on the Strigoi quickly, readying to stake without hesitation.

And then I hesitated.

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**So how would you guys feel if I stopped here for a while? Took a break from writing Searching for Roza to work on Dimitri POV Vampire Academy? Which would mean this would be my last chapter for Searching for Roza for a little while. I don't know how long it would be, could be a few weeks, it might be a few months; it would all depend on what happens with my Dimitri POV.**

**But anyway, tell me what you think of my new chapter, I love feedback.**

**WIWR xx 3**


	11. Roza And Angelus

**YAY! Creative mind has came back! If you've been reading my Dimitri POV fic than you already know that. . . . But that's the one I've been concentrating on lately, so I thought it was time to get this chapter complete and up for you all.**

**I hope you like it, I added the escape scene but that's pretty much it really. I'd really like some opinion on what you guys think is going to happen (hint: I looking for some ideas)**

**So, anyway, hope you guys like the **_**completed**_** chapter ten! :)**

**WIWR xx ;)**

**P.S. VA? Not mine :(**

**P.P.S. VA MOVIE! YAY! :) TAYLOR KITSCH FOR DIMITRI BELIKOV!**

**P.P.P.S. 'Of Course It's Yours' list. Don't know if it was any of you guys, but you'd know if it was, don't forget to make sure you're on my list to get a PM when it comes back. It's on my profile.**

**P.P.P.P.S. I'm a beta reader (yay :)) but nobody has asked me to beta yet :( anyone interested?**

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-Chapter 10-

_Roza and Angelus._

_Dimitri._

"Roza," I whispered, oh so softly.

After everything, here she was, standing before me.

Her normally wavy hair, was curled so it bobbed around her perfect face. Her dark eyes that I could stare into for the rest of eternity and it still wouldn't be long enough, red-rimmed. And the way she smiled, like an old lover she hadn't seen for years. But what that smile revealed. . . . If anything didn't belong on Rose, it was those fangs.

"Hello Dimka," she said, sweetly out of character. She looked down at the stake in my frozen hand, then back up to me and sighed. "You know, I expected after all those lessons in not hesitating, you would at least have the nerve to not prove yourself wrong."

Then she hit me.

I came to in a small room. I jerked up as the memories came back to me. My Rose, standing before me, but her face was all wrong.

I stood up, and there was a glass pane on the wall opposite me. As I walked over to it, I saw a room. Angel was lying on the bed; a short blonde was wandering around the room. I tried banging on the glass, but Angel didn't hear me. Man, that guy could sleep. I realized that the glass was actually a one way mirror. What was going on?

The door to the room opened, and in came Rose. As soon as she saw me standing by the mirror, she smiled.

"It's no use," she said. "It's completely sound proof." Her voice was strange, more relaxed, more wandering . . . not Rose.

I walked over to her in a threatening manner, lowering my voice. "What's going on here?"

Her attitude changed completely in an instant. "Back away, Comrade." I didn't move. "Fine." She moved away from me.

"What's Angel doing in there?" I asked, pissed off.

"Well, it's all part of the plan," she said, so sadistic. "I need Angelus and the only way to get him is through that girl." She pointed through the glass. "That's why I let my little plan leak out. It would have been easy to keep it a secret, but where's the fun if the Alchemists aren't looking for you?

"It's you," I realized. "You're the one the Alchemists are after because _you're_ trying to open the Hellmouth."

"Not trying Dimitri," she corrected. "_Going _to open the Hellmouth. Right here, under Baia, _under this hotel._"

I shook my head at her. "I won't let that happen."

"Well, you're going to, because your buddy Angel in there won't be with us much longer," she laughed. I stared at her, confused. "Oh, you don't know," she realized. She turned towards the glass. Her voice returned to the calm one she had when she walked in. "Angel will lose his soul if he experiences one moment of true happiness. And what's the way to get him happy? Buffy." The smirk on her face was one I hadn't seen on Rose for a long time.

"He won't go for it."

"Oh, he will, because Buffy and he alone in room together? It won't take long. Especially if he believes he's dreaming."

"And why would he believe that?" I asked, hoping to find some hole in Rose's plans.

"Because I told Buffy to convince him," Rose said in a very 'duh' voice. She'd used compulsion. Strigoi compulsion was a million times stronger than any normal Moroi's. It was even stronger than Lissa's, just not by as much. "Then once Angelus is back, my compulsion will break."

I turned away from her.

"Come on Dimitri," Rose said. "I'm doing this for us."

I laughed, a quick short laugh. "Oh, yeah? How?"

"Because I want to turn you." I froze.

"Never."

"Dimka," she bargained, she'd never called me 'Dimka' before, she always loved 'Dimitri', "I'll do it whether you ask me to or not." She moved closer to me, desperate for closeness like the old Rose. "Then no one, not the guardians, not the Moroi, and certainly not Lissa, will be able to tell us we can't be together."

"You're note told me enough," I said sternly.

"You found me didn't you? That has to mean _something_." She sounded so sweet, so innocent. That wasn't Rose.

"It means I love my Roza enough to do this for her." She was making this easier than I expected, she wasn't even pretending to be my Rose.

"If you're going to be that way, fine." She stepped back from me and turned away, pretending to be hurt. I could hear the smile in her next words, "You're too late anyway."

I turned to the mirror, Angel was waking up . . .

_Angel._

As I came back to consciousness, I found I was in what looked to be a hotel room. And Buffy was standing on the end of the bed.

"Good morning," she said with a smile. "Well," she looked at her wrist like it was a watch, "it's actually nearly night time."

"Buffy," I was caught up in her, the fact she was there. Then I remembered. "Buffy," I said more frantically. "We have to get out of here, Rose—"

"Angel," she cut me off, "Angel, what are you talking about? You're here with me, stupid."

"I'm . . . dreaming?" She nodded. I smiled. "It's so good to see you." I grabbed her and brought her down to me, pulling her close. "I love you Buffy Summers and I will never let you go again."

"Good," she said, softly. "Don't."

Then she brought herself closer and kissed me. It was intense, passionate, _needing_. She started to unbutton my shirt, and I pulled hers over her head. She straddled my hips, and intensified the kiss. I pushed her away.

"Buffy, we can't."

She smiled at me, oh, so seductively. "It's only a dream." Something deep inside me told me it was more real than I believed, but I pushed it aside. I wanted Buffy, so badly.

I pulled her back to me and within minutes our clothes were all over the room and we were together, at last. As I held her close to me, I knew I would never be stupid enough to leave her again. I secretly swore to always protect her, no matter what.

Then something strange stirred inside me. But it wasn't strange at all. It was familiar. And I couldn't let it out. Buffy had lied to me, I was awake and I had really had sex with her, allowing myself to be completely happy with her in my arms. And Angelus was coming . . .

_Dimitri._

I turned away, I couldn't face the fact the man who had become my friend, was about to disappear and be replaced by a horrible monster that scared fifty-year-old men when you mentioned his name.

I don't know how long it was, but at long last, Angel walked into the room. I stood up and moved over to him.

"Angel," I began, "tell me you didn't . . ." my voice trailed off. I could see it in his eyes, he wasn't Angel.

"Yup," Angelus said. Even his tone proved he wasn't Angel. "The idiot fell for Rose's little plot and now," he put his arm out and Rose slipped into it, "we are going to go destroy the world."

"Bye Comrade," Rose said sweetly, like she still loved me. "We'll be back later tonight, right now, I'm hungry."

Angel hit me and I flew across the tiny room. And they left. I recovered as quickly as I could, but it was still a long time, both my lover and my friend were long gone to hunt.

I saw one guard watching me; a gun on his belt. On the small bench directly behind his gun was . . . My stake! I launched.

I got the gun and shot him once in the chest, it would only take him a few seconds to heal, so I grabbed for my stake, got it, and went for his heart. Once the Strigoi stopped moving, I turned to the mirror, and shot at it.

I proceeded to jump through it and make my way over to Buffy, who was still lying on the bed. She was now bright eyed and awake. She remembered everything.

"Get dressed," I told her. "And hurry, we don't have long."

"Who the hell are you?" she asked me.

When she was dressed, I turned to face her. "My name is Dimitri Belikov, slayer. I'm going to get you out of here."

"Oh, well, let me help with the escape plan." She grabbed the bed post and snapped it; a makeshift stake.

"That will only do any real damage to your vampires," I told her. "Mine need a silver stake and I only have the one. But if you stake a Strigoi with that, they'll be frozen long enough for me the stake them."

"Sounds like a plan to me, Belikov."

I would have to admire her readiness later, we had to escape.

I rushed over to the door and found it locked, of course. I shot it once and the lock quickly broke.

"Nice shot," Buffy said behind me.

"Thanks," I said, the edge of my lip upturning. The moment didn't last long, another Strigoi came charging into the room. This time Buffy staked him with her make-shift wooden stake, as soon as she pulled it out it I moved in with my silver one. As Buffy watched me, it was like she was waiting for something more to happen to the Strigoi.

"Wow," she exclaimed. "You weren't kidding about different vamps."

"Yeah, I wish."

As we went charging down the hallway, me in front, Buffy close behind, we encountered two more Strigoi, all as easy kills as the last. It took that one next kill for me to realize why we were having such an easy time—these were newborn Strigoi. And probably not the only ones. Rose had most likely turned all these people to build her own army. Great.

I watched Buffy have a mini-battle with a vampire before easily sliding her stake into its chest. Suddenly, it was dust. I stared, open-mouthed. Angel had described it, but I hadn't seen it before. It was so different to what I was used to. I was amazed that these vampires had been kept a secret from us for so long.

As Buffy and I made yet another kill, a Strigoi rounded the corner at the end of the hallway. Something about him, his face, his body language, told me he was _much_ older than the previous Strigoi. I charged down towards him, it reminded me so much of the time Rose was being attacked by Natalie the freshly turned Strigoi. I charged down that hall intent on killing Natalie because Rose needed me; now, it was pretty much the same situation. My Rose needed me.

I made the first hit, it hardly fazed him and he struck back, making me fumble slightly. I launched again, this time getting a swipe across his cheek with my stake. I flinched backwards and clutched the side of his face. Sneering and hissing at me, he launched again. I slipped sideways just enough to be able to pierce his shoulder and throw him into the wall beside me in one fluid motion. Now he was hurt, making it easy to make the one final blow.

I looked down around the corner—four more Strigoi and vampires were coming.

Not in the mood for anymore fighting, I turned and ran back toward Buffy. Grabbing her arm I pulled her down the hall, running, looking for an exit. We found the stairs and bolted down, and as soon as we came onto the landing, a Strigoi and an Angel-vampire were waiting either side. The one that attacked me couldn't surprise me, and so I shoved my stake into him instantly. Buffy was having some more trouble.

I heard her cry out moments after the vampire I had just killed stopped moving. I turned to see her shoulder bleeding and I struck out at the Strigoi. I was determined not to lose anyone else tonight.

I could hear more Strigoi coming and tried to open the door beside me. When it wouldn't budge I groaned, frustrated, before remembering the gun! This door took a few more shots but it flung open eventually. I charged across the room, again, holding Buffy's arm. One of the stray bullets had pierced the window, so I charged.

I jumped out of the window, still holding onto Buffy's arm. It was already dawn, which meant Rose and Angel would be returning any second. The broken window let in enough sunlight to keep the Strigoi back as we ran across town to my house. When we arrived, Yeva, Sonya and Karolina all took care of Buffy's wound she received when the vampire bit her.

"You're just lucky it wasn't a Strigoi," Viktoria told her.

"And why's that?" Buffy asked.

"Because Strigoi and Moroi bites let off a chemical that puts you in a state of bliss," Sonya answered while Karolina got some bandages. "It would have made you drowsy and uncoordinated. Like a powerful injection of heroin that takes affect instantly."

"Oh," Buffy replied.

Olena meanwhile, was busily fussed over my few cuts from jumping out the window, Sydney helping her.

"What happened?" Sydney asked. "Where's Angel?"

"Yeah, and what the hell is with these new types of vamps?" Buffy asked.

I had a lot of explaining to do. But not right then. After Olena stitched me up, I told everyone I would tell them all everything later on. I went upstairs to my room and tried to sleep. But every time I closed my eyes, I was haunted by the image of Rose as a Strigoi.

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**Thanks to:**

**_Jillian Mastrano 101, LovelyJubJub, Mordanyes _and _Darkness Flowers_**

**for the fantastic reviews! I love them so much! Please keep them coming, I know we can make 25 for this chapter :)**


	12. Missing

**Sorry quick A/N, in a rush. Shorter chapter, wanted to get it done. Will make next one longer. Promise.**

**WIWR xx ;)**

**VA still not mine :(**

**ttyl**

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-Chapter 11-

_Missing._

I confined my family to the house for the next few days. Sydney was planning to leave the day after our stake-out, but I quickly changed her mind. It involved pulling everything out of her bag as she put it in, hiding the keys to the car, and finally, pulling the starter motor out of the car. I couldn't lose anyone else.

For days our house worked like normal, only with an added blanket of silence. I didn't say two words to any other person in the house as I walked around. To any outsider, it would have appeared as simple wandering, but everyone inside knew I was moving from window to window, looking.

Three days after mine and Buffy's escape, we needed food. I went alone, despite Buffy's protests.

"You can't go out there alone!" she tried to tell me.

"We need food and I need you here," I argued back. "I know my family can protect themselves but I need to know they'll be safe. I need you to stay with them."

She sighed in defeat. "Okay," she said. "But if you're not back in a half hour I'll be looking."

I laughed lightly. "Okay."

I rummaged through my luggage in the lounge room to grab my gun—can never be too careful when the undead love of your life is hunting for you. My stake hadn't left my side since the night Angel turned.

Buffy and I stayed on guard during the night; we all relaxed a little more during the day, but still didn't leave the house. I normally wouldn't go out at night but there was literally nothing left in the kitchen to eat, and we were all going to starve at breakfast if I didn't find something. Everyone was sleeping and no one needed to know I was gone.

I left as quietly as I could and started jogging down the dead street. Further into town there was a lot more activity. I wandered into a twenty-four hour store and grabbed four loaves of bread, three cartons of milk, two boxes of cereal, two tubs of butter, and three jars of peanut butter (Viktoria liked to slather her toast). I paid the guys a little extra and headed back home.

I got there safely. I honestly expected Rose to personally be waiting outside the house each night, waiting for me, but I must have been mistaken in deluding myself to think she would be that stupid—well, _my_ Roza would never be that stupid.

I went upstairs once everything was packed away. I checked in on Sonya's room, Sonya peaceful on the bed while Sydney lay on the floor, then Paul, and Karolina and her baby girl, my mother, and finally Viktoria. I only poked my head in the door and satisfied, began to retreat, but I decided to take one more moment to look around my old room.

It was definitely different to when I had left. There were posters all over the wall, the bedspread was pink, and there were clothes all over the floor. One thing that hadn't changed was the loose floor board two panels away from the end of the bed. I thought about it as I opened the door just a little more, and decided against, I didn't want to wake Viktoria. But as I closed the door over again, I again changed my mind. I was a highly trained guardian, I could sneak in, grab the tin box and sneak out again without making a sounds.

I literally tip-toed across the floor, barely making a sound. It was extremely dark and Viktoria had a lot of girly crap on the floor, so I stepped on something, and it was pretty sharp. I'd ditched my shoes once I came back in the house so all I had on was a pair of socks. I had to bite my lip—damn hard—to stop myself from screaming. I collapsed to the floor with a light thud and clutched at my foot. I moved to see what the object of my downfall had been. Nail polish. A tiny jar of bright red nail polish.

I, Dimitri Belikov, the guardian Rose sometimes liked to joke as a 'God', had been taken down by a jar of my sister's bright red nail polish. Ouch. I was instantly reminded of the day Rose almost broke her ankle and ended up in the clinic, _"I was taken down by bench."_

I silently laughed to myself as I remember the groan that escaped her.

Viktoria had remained asleep through the entire ordeal. I stood up and regained myself, _God _did my foot hurt. I kept walking and eventually ran into the bed, moving it may be no more than an inch. Viktoria remained silent.

I pulled out the floorboard trying not to drop it, which turned out to be quite difficult with no nails. I moved the board aside and reached into the hole. I had never told anyone about the loose board, not my mother and certainly not my sisters. I grabbed the tin box and carefully pulled it out. Little did I know the last time I put the box in the hole, I was in a rush to leave with Ivan, and had hurriedly and carelessly put it back in place upside down and unlatched, so when I grabbed the sides, all the contents fell out.

I picked everything up and put it back in its place in the old cowboy lunch box.

"Uncle Dimka," Paul said sleepily while rubbing his eyes in the doorway, "why are you in Aunty Viktoria's room?"

"Just getting this," I whispered, showing him the box, it rattled slightly. "Go back to bed Paul."

He nodded and walked off. That's when I noticed the strangest thing.

Paul was left down the hall from Viktoria's room, on the other side. Paul had woken up from the noise and wandered down to see what was going on—so why was Viktoria still sleeping soundly like nothing had happened?

I launched up and raced over to the bed. Pulling back the bright pink cover, I prepared myself for the worst, stake at the ready. But Viktoria wasn't there, some of her pillows and stuffed animals had been put down in her place.

I raced downstairs and found Buffy with the television on some show being shown in Russian, but I knew she wasn't listening to the T.V. or even following along with what was going on, she was listening to everything else going on around her.

"Viktoria's missing," I said. I was out the door an instant later, running into town, back to _Addala's Mechta_.


	13. What Do I Know About Love?

**I was gonna leave it for a while but I felt bad I left it as such a cliffhanger. Trust me, what happens will totally shock you! Yes, that does mean, surprise twist alert ;) just as a hint. **

**Also, I finished writing chapter 9 of my Dimitri POV of Vampire Academy not long ago, and if any of you know what happens in chapter 9 then you'll know why I HAD to include the flashback in this chapter. It was my favourite to write :)**

**If you've read this chapte****r before, just read last few paragraphs of chapter, don't bother reading the whole thing again. Kay, enjoy chapter.**

**WIWR xx ;)**

**VA is still not mine, neither is Angel.**

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_What Do I Know About Love?_

"What the hell dude?" he said to me in Russian.

I pinned him against the brick wall by his shirt collar, holding him a foot off of the ground. I was beyond pissed off, and not just at him. I couldn't start grappling my sister in public, however, so this guy was copping the initial anger.

"Dimitri!" Viktoria screamed behind me.

"How dare you! She's _sixteen_!"

"Dimitri! Stop it!"

I was instantly reminded of a time, just a few months ago, when I had caught Rose with Jesse Zeklos.

_Instantly, my anger spiked. I couldn't describe exactly what I was feeling, but it pushed my anger and patience over the edge. I grabbed the Zeklos kid and pinned him against the far wall, almost dangling him by his shirt._

"What's your name," I ordered of the boy I had against the wall, letting my anger show through.

_I imagined hanging him from a nail on the wall—in his underwear._

"Uhh. . . ." I didn't bother for an answer.

"_Mr. Zeklos," I said, "do you have permission to be in this part of the dorm?"_

"_No, sir." This kid was scared. Good. Maybe it would stop him from taking advantage of my student in future._

_I pictured me removing every last hair on his body, individually._

"_Do you know the rules about male and female interactions around here?"_

"_Yes, sir." I think I got just a little angrier. I imagined myself hanging him by his Achilles over some cliff with the ocean crashing beneath. Then I pictured the scene with no ocean._

"_Well, then I suggest you get out as fast as you can before I turn you over to someone who will punish you accordingly."_

"If I ever see you like this again"_—I pointed towards Rose, half dressed and scared stiff on the couch—_"I will be the one to punish you. And it will hurt. A lot. Do you understand?"

_Zeklos swallowed hard, his eyes going wider than my fist. _"Yes, sir!"_ I imagined tying him to a chair and driving nails through his legs, then wiring the nails to a power outlet and turning the lights on and off._

_I got a little closer to his face, lowering my voice. _"Then go."_ I let him go and he moved almost as fast as a Strigoi. I turned to Rose. I knew if I spoke I would begin yelling again, so I remained silent, and let all my anger and disappointment show through without words. I think I was mostly disappointed that it was Rose I had found. Did this mean I had failed as a mentor?_

I turned on Viktoria, still way too pissed off; if I had been allowed to hit that kid a few times then maybe I wouldn't be so mad. I saw her wearing a bright nail polish, the same color as the bottle I tripped over in her room—which made me even madder.

I had gone looking for Viktoria alone. I was taking as many back streets as possible, and as I was walking by the underground night club, who should I spot but my little sister, pinned to a wall and making out with some Moroi a few years older than her. That's when I lost it.

"Home. Now."

"I can't believe you just did that!" Victoria yelled at me as I walked through the front door. She slammed it close behind me. "I was having a good time with him until you showed up! You went up in my room! I should kill you for that!" I had my back to her and she walked over and grabbed my shoulder, turning my body to face her. She got right in my face. "I nearly died of embarrassment when you showed up and decided to beat up my boyfriend!" I had remained silent while she continued to scream at me. I turned back away from her and walked into the lounge, I was halfway across the room when she screamed again from the entryway. "Dimitri, I love him!"

I turned back towards her, my anger finally exploding. "You love him do you?"

"Yes!" she screamed louder than she previously had.

"No! You don't! You don't know anything about 'love' Viktoria! You do not love him and he certainly doesn't love you!"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know what Moroi boys are like! I know what teenage boys are like, if he's even a teenager. I've had experience in the world and I've thought I've known love plenty of times! But it's not until you truly love someone that you really understand love!" My voice dropped in volume as I let my 'words of wisdom' sink into me. "And it's not until that love is yours, you're so close to being able to love her forever, then you lose it, that's when you know love, that's when you _feel_ love."

I had collapsed onto the couch in the middle there somewhere. I put my head in my hands and almost cried. Viktoria sat beside me, putting her arm around me.

"You really did love her." It was a statement, a matter of fact. It was wrong.

"I still do, and that's the hardest part."

Buffy, Sydney and my family had all been hiding in the kitchen while Viktoria and I fought. They came sneaking in once the yelling died down.

"Come on," Sydney said, pulling me off the couch, "I want to show you something."

She took my hand and pulled me onto the front deck. We stood at the steps and looked at the rising sun. She pointed straight at it.

"Go about a thousand miles that way, straight towards the sunrise. That's where my mother's body is."

I looked at her. I didn't know what to say.

"It was what she wanted," Sydney went on, "to be buried at a place directly facing the sunrise no matter where you are. Don't ask me how she did it, but she figured out the one spot on Earth where that was. That was only a few days before she was taken.

"I got lucky. When some guardian found her I was lucky it was me that got the clean-up call. I had her body taken to that exact spot where she wanted. My dad wants to be buried right beside her.

"She may have been a mechanic, but she wasn't ignorant. She knew all about the Moroi world and what my dad did. That's why I moved a lot as a kid, she was always willing to follow him."

Sydney took a breath. "I don't know what I would have done if I couldn't be there when she died. Anyone else would have followed procedure. I couldn't. It would have killed me if she hadn't got what she wanted." After another moment's silence, she got to the point. "What I'm trying to say is, you need to find her. Soon. I'm so sorry Dimitri, but when I didn't catch my flight, I got a call. I had to tell them the truth. They know Rose is here and they're coming to stop her. You know you should be the one to do it, don't let the others get to her first."

I turned on her, full force. "Why?"

"I didn't have a choice. Dimitri, please," she pleaded. I put my hand up to stop her.

"Sydney, do you have any idea what you've—"

"Dimitri!"

I was so caught up in what Sydney was telling me I didn't even see two vampires come up behind me. Just the two of them would have been easy, and it was, until three more came out at me. Then I was lost, because two of them were Strigoi.

As I struggled I saw one more vampire sneak up and grab Sydney, and in a moment, he was dust. Behind where the vampire was standing a moment ago, I saw Buffy.

I saw a vampire running down the street and I followed him as fast as I could, glad he was only a vampire and didn't have super speed. About a mile down the road, I caught him, and grabbed a wooden stake Buffy had made for me, and staked him from behind.

I fell to my knees, slightly exhausted, and someone was clapping about thirty yards away from me. I looked up, it was Rose.

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**Thanks a whole bunch to _Jillian Mastrano 101, Darkness Flowers, dimiksgirl123, _and _natashar._**

**Your reviews were all totally awesome and I can't wait for more.**

**Btw guys, I would LOVE to have 35 reviews by my next update, which should be easy because you never know how long it will take me to think of what to write next.**

**If you have any ideas, let me know! :)**

-Chapter 12-


	14. Come Back To Me

**Hello all! So guess what? This story is coming to a close :( Makes me sad. My Dimitri POV looks like it's gonna get to 100 reviews, but I couldnt write enough for this to get half that. Doesn't matter though, I love the positive feedback! :)**

**IMPORTANT! Chapter 12 ending has been changed! You MUST go back and read the last few paragraphs again before reading this or evverything will be wrong!**

**Hope this (probably second last) chapter satisfies you all.**

**WIWR xx ;)**

**P.S. VA's not mine.**

**P.P.S. If you guys give me some base ideas, I might get inspriation for a sequel . . .**

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-Chapter 13-

_Come Back To Me._

"Well done, Dimka," Rose said.

I heard footsteps behind me and then saw Buffy by my side. Suddenly, Angelus was beside Rose. I imagine it would have been a pretty hilarious sight to anyone looking at us.

"Glad you could make the show Buff!" Angelus called out.

"What's he talking about?" Buffy asked me quietly. "What show?"

"The Hellmouth," I said. "Tonight's the night they're going to open the Hellmouth. But what are you doing here? The Hellmouth is under _Addala's Mechta_!" I said louder to Rose.

She laughed. "Oh those silly misinformed Alchemists," she said. "The Hellmouth isn't under the hotel Dimka. It's exactly halfway between where we're both standing."

I looked at the spot. This wasn't good.

Rose started talking in what I thought was Latin and the earth shook from under us. The longer she chanted, the more everything shook. I could see a crack starting to form in the road.

Buffy ran straight out towards Angelus. They squared off, but I didn't pay any attention to them, my focus was on Rose.

She held out her hand and scratched down her palm, hard enough to draw blood. When it dripped to the ground, it ran down towards the split forming in front of me. I jumped over the top just in time. A huge hole was ripped through the road the moment Rose's blood made contact with the crack.

The wind picked up and it took me several moments for me to get to her. "Rose, you have to stop this!" I yelled.

"Why?" she said. "I'm doing this for us Dimka! I love you and with the Hellmouth open the world will be ours. No more rules to say we can't be together."

It was in that moment I knew what I had to do, what I had to say. "I don't want you Rose!" I said, she looked at me, and I could see how hurt she was. "I came to Russia to kill you so I could move on! So I could save my heart for another."

"Like Tasha?" she said.

"Exactly like Tasha," I replied.

What Rose hadn't taken notice of was that I had still been stepping closer to her with every distracting word. And suddenly I had her face in my hand. She leaned into my palm and looked like, if she could, she would cry.

"I love you Roza," I said quietly, like they were stolen words only for us to hear.

I kissed her forehead, and then I staked her.

She stared up at me, hurt all over her face. "I'm sorry, Dimitri." It was the first time since she'd been turned that she'd called me Dimitri. For a split second she was my Rose again . . . my Roza.

She was about to say something else, she was trying to say something else to me, but over the noise the open Hellmouth was erupting, I couldn't hear her.

She closed her eyes and collapsed in my arms. I felt myself crying as I brought her as close to me as possible, her limp form against my chest as I cried for my lost lover.

As soon as the life was gone from Rose, the Hellmouth had shut, and everything was silent. I noticed Buffy a few metres away, her and Angel embraced as she cried. He was okay, I didn't know how I knew, maybe because he had become my closest friend, but I knew he was Angel again. I didn't know how Buffy had done it, but she'd brought him back. I was happy for my friends.

It was the jealousy that came with that happiness for them that made me cry even harder. My Roza was lost forever.

I carried Rose back to the house and took her into the basement before the sun could come up. I laid her down on an old table we had stored down there. I sat on an old creaky chair and watched her. I couldn't say why, I didn't know. Maybe I was hoping she'd wake up, maybe I was hoping if I sat there long enough, this would all fade and have been some horrible dream.

I didn't know how long I was down in the basement with her. Once, Sydney came in with her pouch of Alchemist dust, but I held her back.

"Don't," I said.

"I have to Dimitri," she said, looking at me with guilt.

"Remember what you said about your mother? Same thing applies here. Rose deserves a proper burial." She left a moment later.

A few times my sisters and my mother had tried to get me to come back upstairs, or at least eat the food they brought down for me. But I just couldn't leave Rose. Even Buffy tried once or twice. She also told me about how she saved Angel. Her friend, Willow or something that sounded like pillow, had cast the curse. Apparently she'd brought Angel back two or three times now.

Angel came down for the first time after what must have been a few days. "Dimitri, you have to come back upstairs," he said.

"No," was all I replied.

"I can understand what you must be going through, but—"

"No!" I yelled, standing up to face him. "I'm not going anywhere! She needs me here, right now!"

"She's gone, Dimitri!" he yelled back.

"I love her! I have always loved her! I promised her I'd always protect her, that I would never let anything happen to her! I've already failed her once, I won't do it again. I can't do it again." I fell to my knees at her side and cried until there was nothing left of me.

When Yeva finally came down to see me, it was even harder. "Everything will be okay, Dimka," she said into my ear. She handed me an apple and I took it. I ate it as fast as I could manage, feeling guilty I was eating while Rose was dead.

A few days later I heard some light footsteps coming down the stairs. "Leave," I said to who I thought was Viktoria.

"I fly halfway across the world to save my best friend and that's the first thing you say to me," the person said, I could hear the lightness in her tone, and it made me want to breakdown again. But I had to be strong for this person; I had to show strength, because I was supposed to her guardian.

It was Lissa.

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**Thanks for the reviews: _JillianMastrano 101, Darkness Flowers, baseballshoppingmomma, Mordanyes, 54hay, Redtailedfox, talkygirl, _and_ ZippyGal_**

**Keep it up, I love it so much! :)**


	15. Saviour

**Sorry it's taken me a while to update... I'm feeling really down lately, and haven't been inspired to write. Anyway, so there will be two more chapters after this one, yay :)**

**Then, if you guys are REALLY nice to me, there will be a sequel! Maybe not for a while, but the idea is forming in my head =D**

**So I hope you like this chapter, even though my writing sucks atm.**

**WIWR xx ;)**

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**-Chapter 14-**

_Saviour._

"Lissa," I said, "what are you doing here?"

"I told you, I'm here to save my best friend," she said.

"How did you . . ." I began. Angel walked down the stairs behind her.

"I called her. I had to make you see reason," he explained. He walked back upstairs like he was never there.

"I missed you, Dimitri," said Lissa. She walked up to me and hugged me. After a moment of shock, I hugged her back, so tightly. She pulled back and looked around behind me. Her face dropped when she saw Rose, so still, so peaceful.

"Oh, Rose," she breathed. I could see the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. She reached out her hand, slowly and shakily.

I grabbed her wrist. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"I was just . . . I just wanted to touch her," she said.

"No you didn't," I said. "You were going to try to heal her."

Guilt covered her face. "I have to try," she barely whispered.

"And what if you don't bring back Rose?" I said to her, my voice clearly strained. "What if you bring back that thing? Lissa, I've already lost her twice, once to my own hand. If that Strigoi comes back, I don't think I'll be able to kill her again, and that would give her the perfect opening to kill you. I can't let that happen."

It was my biggest fear. Choosing my duty and choosing Rose. I couldn't do it. Anyone would think it easy, that I would choose Rose in a heartbeat. But this was different. Choosing Rose meant choosing a Strigoi, and if I let that Strigoi come back, then Lissa was in danger and could possibly be killed. I couldn't live with the guilt either choice would put me though.

Lissa was crying now, her voice almost angry. "You may be ready to lose her, but I'm not Dimitri. I'm not ready to give up! She wouldn't."

"Lissa, think about it, would Rose want this?" She thought, and I could see the strain in her face. It broke my heart telling her no.

Lissa collapsed in defeat right into my arms, sobbing as she accepted the loss of her best friend and sister. She recovered enough to stand and look at Rose, still so still. She looked back at me. "Can I have a minute with her, please?" I wavered the decision, but decided I could trust Lissa and went upstairs for some real food.

I had a slice of my mother's black bread, and lathered it with butter, just like Rose would. Nobody spoke at all while I sat there, and the moment I was done, I went back downstairs.

When I reached the bottom, I looked up to see Lissa with her hand on Rose's face. "I'm not ready to give up," she said softly.

"Lissa, no!" I tried to step forward, to stop her, but everything went bright, and I mean _really_ bright. I was thrown back across the room against the wall, I felt like I was going to fall into unconsciousness from the hit, but I was coherent enough to keep it together.

The bright light was sucked back towards Lissa and Rose and it went dark again. I couldn't see a thing, but I heard someone moving fast around the room.

_Lissa._

I looked at Rose and knew what I had to do, for her. "Can I have a minute with her please?"

I knew Dimitri wouldn't trust me not try something, but he must have, because he left. As soon as he was upstairs, I tried.

"Please let this work," I whispered to whoever was listening.

I grabbed Rose's cold hand. It sent an icy shiver right through me. I used my healing magic like I would any other time, but it just wouldn't work. I put my hand over her heart, still nothing.

I put my hand on the side of her face. "I'm not ready to give up," I whispered. I tried again, but this time, I tried to put a part of me into the magic, like I was giving her part of my life.

"Lissa, no!" I heard someone say, but it was too late.

The bright light like what I felt inside of me when I used my healing magic shone right out across the room with force. Then it came back, and I watched Rose's face. I saw her frown, an almost annoyed frown.

Then she opened her eyes.

She looked at me and smiled. "Lissa," she said soothingly. She was Rose the Strigoi.

But that was exactly what I wanted.

_Rose._

He was never going to stake me. He didn't have the courage. That's what I thought.

As soon as the silver pierced my skin, it burned. When I was a dhampir, it didn't do anything like that, not even that time I got scratched in practice. But oh how it burned as my love put it through my heart.

I gasped for breath as I felt the last of my undead life fading from me. "I'm sorry Dimitri," I said. He needed to know. "I love you," I said in a low whisper. The look on his face told me he hadn't heard me, but I wasn't given the chance to say it again.

I remember how hot I felt just after he staked me, then cold, then the burning sensation returned. I was back. I frowned, how?

I opened my eyes, and the answer was standing right before me. "Lissa," I said as kindly as I could with a smile, "I missed you." The terrified look she wore gave me so much satisfaction.

I wrapped my hand around her neck, resisting the urge to just snap it then and there. I moved fast and pinned her against the wall; she was terrified.

"All those years, I trained for you, I defended you, I ran away for you, I did everything for you. And what did I get in return? _Death._ But I must admit, I've never felt more _alive._

"So here's how it's gonna work, _Liss._ I'm going to turn you. I'd ask you if you want me to, but hey, we both know what you're going to answer. Oh, get that stupid scared look of your face, you won't even feel it." I second thought that. "Actually, it will, coz I will _make _it hurt." I paused as I took in how scared she was. "See you on the other side." I smiled and leaned into her neck.

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***cue gripping, cliffhanger theme music***

**Thanks to all the reviewers, you know who you are!**

**Next chapter will be up tomorrow... as soon as I read over it and think of a title for it :P**


	16. Plotlines

**Second last chapter guys :( this is where you get the idea of what the sequel will be about... but it will all be explained in the next chapter.**

**btw, do you guys think the sequel should be an Angel crossover, or just a VA one? I suppose it would be easier to decide after you read the next chapter.**

**WIWR xx ;)**

**P.S. I forgot it on the last chapter, but I do not own VA or Angel or any of it, but the plotline is mine... I'm so clever lol :P**

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-Chapter 15-

I stood up, trying to regain my balance.

As soon as I saw Rose lean in to Lissa's neck, I panicked. "Rose," I said from the opposite side of the room to them.

She moved her head away from Lissa. Without turning to face me, she spoke, "Not now Dimka, I'm busy."

"No, Rose, you can't do this." Clearly annoyed, she sighed and walked across the room to me. She grabbed the front of my shirt and lifted me from the ground. I saw Lissa dash out of the way and under the table. Good.

"And why not?" asked Rose through gritted teeth.

"Because I said so," I said to her, expressing every syllable. She hated that. With her free hand she punched me; then she dropped me to the floor and kicked my stomach in.

"You may not have noticed, Dimka . . . but I have total control . . . I will find another way to open the Hellmouth . . . and then the world will be mine. . . ." With every pause, I received another hit. I was almost completely unable to move, and with no breath to warn my family, she was going to escape.

Angel came downstairs, and took no longer than a second to realize what was happening, before he was charging at Rose. She flicked him away like a fly. When he hit the stairs, I know I heard something in Angel break.

Again, she grabbed the front of my shirt but this time, threw me into the other wall. She walked over and jumped the table in between us and crossed the small space. She grabbed me by the neck and lifted me, pinning me against the wall, similar to how she had Lissa before. I knew I was going to die.

"We could have been great together," she said softly. "I want you, Dimka, just say yes."

I tried to get my voice out. "No," I finally said.

"F—" she began, but something cut her off. I instantly recognized the look she wore: it was identical to the one she wore when I staked her. When I looked behind her I expected to see Buffy, or Angel, one of my sisters even. There were three people in this entire household that I did not expect to see: Yeva, Sydney . . . and Lissa.

I was stunned, why was Lissa staking Rose? More importantly, how? A bright light began to shine out, identical to the one from when Lissa brought Rose back before. Lissa was thrown backwards, and I was pushed harder against the wall. Rose and I fell to our knees beside each other. She opened her eyes and looked around; I was blown away by how different she was.

Her eyes were the perfect shade of almond; her teeth were perfect, rounded white; her skin was a slight tan. . . . She was like a tropical princess; the tropical princess she was when I first met her; the tropical princess I'd watch suffer through more than anyone ever has; the tropical princess who had killed so many Strigoi; _my _tropical princess—my Roza.

She sat up, slowly, confused, looking around the room not having a clue. Maybe she didn't remember anything from the past few months. She looked at Lissa lying on the floor and frowned: maybe she couldn't remember _anything._

Then she looked at me.

A million emotions tried to form on her face. The one that seemed to stick there was pain, and sorrow. She started crying as she fell into me. I held her in my arms for hours, or maybe it was just a few minutes before Angel got up and started for Rose again.

"No!" I said loudly. "She's okay."

"What happened?" he asked kind of panicked.

I remembered Lissa. I made to move and make sure she was okay, but as soon as I body shifted, Rose clung to me tighter. "Make sure she's okay," I said to Angel, nodding to Lissa. "Take her and get Olena and the others to make sure she is okay. I can't move."

Angel seemed to only realize at that moment that I was holding a sobbing Rose. "Wait," he said, "what is she doing alive?" The look I gave him seemed to convey to him an answer. "Is she . . ." he was going to say human, but remembered Rose still wasn't a human. I nodded anyway.

Angel didn't say another word to me as he lifted Lissa and carried her upstairs. I heard her mumbling, asking if Rose was okay. Angel didn't say anything to her.

After an hour of myself holding Rose and rubbing circles on her back as I spoke soothing words to her in Russian, she was finally asleep and at peace. I didn't dare move, for fear I would wake her again, I didn't want to upset her.

I watched her sleep. She obviously needed it. As a Strigoi, she didn't need to sleep. I found myself wondering what she was dreaming about: Lissa, St. Vladimir's, me—I hoped—the ideas went round and round in my head, but she answered my questions with the terrifying screams she let out before I had to wake her up.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I resisted the urge to laugh at her. "It's okay, Roza," I said quietly to her. I kissed her forehead and she pulled her head back to look at me. "Would you like to go upstairs?" I asked softly. She nodded like a child and I helped her to her feet.

We walked upstairs side by side, but once I opened the door to the kitchen and everyone was facing us, she held my arm and hid behind me. "I might just take her upstairs," I told everyone and they nodded in agreement.

Slowly, we took one step at a time as Rose seemed to find her feet. I noticed she was very guarded, her eyes darted all over as she took in every detail of the room. I kept my eye on her as we walked into Viktoria's—now clean—room. She looked around and then sat down on the bed. I sat beside her and grabbed her hand. As soon as I made contact, she started to cry again into my shoulder.

I understood the moment her tears started falling. All the guilt she must be feeling, all the hurt and sorry for what she must have done. She became something she despised, something she would rather die than become. I place my hand on her cheek and kissed her long flowing hair.

She pulled back slightly. "Water," she tried to say, but the word escaped as a croaky whisper.

"Okay, Rose." I left and went to get her a glass. When I came into the kitchen I was bombarded with questions.

"What the hell happened down there?"

"How did you bring her back?"

"Are you sure whatever you've done worked?"

"Enough," I said firmly, getting their attention. "Where's Lissa?"

"Lounge room," half of them said at once.

I walked in and Lissa was on the couch, watching some daytime drama in Russian. I sat beside her and she didn't look at me.

I looked at the television, then back to her. "You understand?"

"Dostatochno, chtoby znat', chto Dzhessika imeyet rebenka Rika, dazhe pri tom, chto ona zan'ata Dzhejsonu, kotoryj yavl'ayets'a bratom Emilii, podrugi Rika," she spoke quite fluently.

"Interesting plotline," I said in English.

"I made it up, it was just a drabble of words I learnt from my mother a long time ago."

I let out a single laugh. "Rose is upstairs," I said, "if you want to see her."

She shook her head. "I can't," Lissa answered. "The way she looked at me downstairs, I just . . . I'm terrified of her."

"She's not that person anymore, Liss," I assured her. "She's not quite the same Rose, but she's definitely not that thing."

Lissa thought about this for a moment. "Maybe later."

"How did you do it?" I had to know, I understood that Lissa healed the Strigoi, bringing it back, but staking Rose, only to have her become dhampir again? That I didn't get.

"The stake was infused with Spirit. I've been here two weeks Dimitri, I met Oksana and Mark, they told me how to do it, then it was a matter of practice. I was so scared when the Strigoi came back; I was so scared it wasn't going to work, after what you told me."

We sat in silence for a moment but I remembered I was supposed to be getting Rose some water. I returned to the kitchen and was bombarded with more questions. I ignored them all and walked the stairs to the bedroom.

I walked in quietly, not wanting to put Rose into shock, but when I walked in, she was sleeping again. She looked so peaceful cuddling the pillow with the smallest smile at the corner of her mouth. I decided to crawl in next to her: I had hardly slept myself in the last few weeks. I only moved next to her and she instinctively moved to rest her head on my chest. I wrapped my arm around her, just to make sure she couldn't go anywhere, and shortly fell into a deep sleep.

_Rose._

I looked around. I didn't know where I was, I didn't know _who _I was. There was a girl laying on the floor across the room from me, a blonde girl. I was so confused.

I turned to behind me and saw Dimitri. I was hit like a tornado as I remembered. I wanted to kill him, I wanted him dead with everything I had, but now that was gone and all that was left was the guilt of just _wanting _it. But I knew I wanted him.

I began to cry, I hated crying, but I couldn't help it. I felt so horrible. Dimitri put his arms around me and I lost sense of everything around me until I fell asleep.

"_Hey beautiful," he said seductively. "What are you doing later?"_

"_I was just gonna get a bite to eat," I replied with my man-eater smile, which I was constantly finding difficult with my fangs. "Care to join me?"_

"_Sure," he said. He was about to follow me but I had another idea._

_I looked him straight in the eye. "See your friend over there?" I said, pointing to some random girl in the crowd._

"_My friend?" he murmured._

"_Mmhm. I want you to go over there and ask her to join you. Make her want to join you, but don't force her. Then bring her out the back," I said as the glazed over look in his eye stayed firm._

"_Sure, baby," he said, slapping my eyes. I rolled my eyes; _disgusting.

_I waited outside for a full ten minutes. By the time they came out I didn't really have the patience to play. The tall musky guy walked straight over to me once the back door had closed._

"_What is this?" the girl said in Russian. I still only knew a few words, but I knew enough to be seductive._

"_Shut up and don't move," I compulsed her._

"_Can we play now?" said the man._

"_No," I answered. "I was planning on it, but now I'm too hungry." I bit into his neck, literally tearing out his throat out. The young girl started screaming. As his blood ran down my throat, I felt sick. "Yuck. Why do I always pick the cancerous ones?"_

_The girl started running but I was in front of her in an instant. "Why so scared?" I said in her face. "We were just getting started."_

_She ran the opposite direction, trying to get back into the club. I walked up to her as she fumbled with the handle. "I don't think so," I said, growing really pissed off._

_I threw her slightly and she stumbled backwards into the opposite brick wall. "No one's going to miss you," I said to her. "You're going to die in this dingy back alley and no one is going to care."_

_She began to cry and I grew tired of it. I was _so_ hungry._

_I bit into her neck and her ear piercing scream sank into me like her blood, before it faded and the bliss of my bite made her lose all thought._

Dimitri woke me up and I realized I must have been screaming. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"It's okay, Roza," he said quietly to me. He kissed my forehead and I pulled back to look at him. "Would you like to go upstairs?" I nodded and he helped me to stand.

We walked upstairs side by side, but once I was revealed to everyone in the kitchen, I shyed away behind Dimitri, terrified of what they would think of me. "I might just take her upstairs," Dimitri said to them, and I let him lead the way.

I kept my eyes focused, watching everything. Everything felt _wrong_. No, I reminded myself, this is right, _that_ was wrong. I glanced around the small room before sitting myself on the bed. Dimitri sat beside me and took my hand. Hid strong grip, the assurance in it, made me crack. I cried into his shoulder as more and more memories came back.

A pulled back as I recovered. "Water," I said. I was in desperate need of a drink—some water. He left and I didn't really move for a moment, just stared around a bit more. A bright light hit the back of my neck and I realized the sun had moved out from behind a cloud, just outside the window. I moved over to the window and looked out. The sun was so warm on my face. The only thing in the world warmer than the sun's brilliant light was Dimitri.

But every time I looked at him. . . . What if the Strigoi wasn't gone? What if I looked at him one day and it came back? What if it came back while I was with Lissa? That was what scared me the most: the memory of wanting to kill her, to drain the life from her.

I knew I had to leave.

I heard Dimitri coming back upstairs and I dived onto the bed, pretending to sleep. He walked in and I could feel him watching me. A few moments later he came and lay down next to me. I moved over and hugged into his chest, needing to fulfill the want to have him hold me one last time.

About an hour later, when I was sure Dimitri was asleep, I opened my eyes and watched him sleep. I kissed his jaw line—and his overgrown stubble—slipped away from him and out the window, leaving behind the man I love for good.

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** Thanks for the reviews guys.. i love them... can we try for 60? 60th reviewer will get a MASSIVE shoutout! =D**

**Bye! Next chapter up as soon as i can**


	17. My Roza

**This is the last chapter guys. Omg, we've come all this way and here it ends. I don't like this feeling. I'm writing this A/N and considering just not posting this chapter, and then it never has to end. Maybe I shouldn't finish any of my stories, because this feeling I'm getting is so bad.**

_**But wait!**_** I hear you yell. **_**What about the sequel you talked about?**_

**Yeah that's not happening anymore . . . sorry guys :( So I hope you enjoy the final chapter.**

**Thank you so much for following this through guys :)**

**WIWR xx ;)**

**P.S. (for the last time :'() VA is not mine, it all belongs to Richelle Mead. Go and thank the universe for her because without her, there would be no awesome plotline (which is mine :P coz I'm so clever)**

**P.P.S. Angel isn't mine either.**

* * *

**-Chapter 16-**

_My Roza._

I woke up and gave Rose a light squeeze, but it wasn't Rose, it was just a pillow. I opened my eyes and frowned. Where was Rose?

I walked to the bathroom and knocked. "Yes?" Viktoria called from the other side of the door. _Damn it._

I walked back to the bedroom and that's when I saw the open window. I ran over to it and looked out. A lot of the leaves on the porch roof had been moved around, and not in a natural way. I ran downstairs.

"Has anyone seen Rose?" I yelled.

"No," Lissa said. I had clearly waked her up, but she seemed wide awake with worry for Rose. "She's been upstairs with you, _all night_."

I shook my head. "No," Lissa whispered.

"Roza!" I screamed from the front porch after tearing my way through the front door.

"It's not like she only just left," a voice said from the lawn. "She can't hear you." I turned to see a Moroi standing in the yard. It was Abe Mazur.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with the most threatening tone I could. It wasn't hard to muster one.

"I came to visit my daughter until I heard you screaming inside, saying she was gone. So where is she?" he said calmly. He seemed to realize what he'd said halfway through and tried to distract me. He forgot that he was in the presence of a guardian obviously.

"Did you just say . . . your daughter?"

He gave me a look. "Oh, that. Yes, Rose is my daughter and I would very much like to know where she has run off to now."

"That's why you wanted to talk to me at the party?" I realized. "You wanted to find out what I knew about her."

"Yes, yes, yes," he said. "Now, listen here Belikov, I want you to find my daughter and bring her back before anything else happens to her."

"But I don't know where she's gone," I tried to explain.

"Well she certainly wouldn't stick around Baia."

"Novosibirsk," said a voice from behind me.

"Angel?"

"Rose will go to Novosibirsk," explained Angel. "Don't ask how I know, I just do. There are a lot of memories there for her—a lot of painful memories."

"Then why would she go back if it's so painful?" Abe asked.

"Because those painful memories will pull her to the city. Trust me, when you get your soul back, you want to go back to places like that. I did it to try and make up for my past wrongs while I was in those places."

"Rose will go back," I cut in, "because she'll want to face those memories head on. Like the dream she had yesterday. She doesn't want to run from what she did, she wants to face it with her head held high. So then why did she take my stake?" I asked myself. The answer came to me before I finished.

I walked back inside and looked through an old cupboard for a map. "She talked about an estate, in her letters, just outside the city. She could see it from the eastern windows. It wouldn't be too far to make it easier to get to the city to hunt. And there was something about a river." All of this was just strings of words I was putting together as I tried to work out where she was going. "Okay," I said after getting a rough idea where she was going to be eventually. "So she'll have started on foot, hoping to catch a lift. But she won't get much luck on that road, so if I leave now, I might catch her before someone picks her up."

Through all my rambling I hadn't realized that Angel was saying my name, trying to catch my attention. "Why is she going back to that estate? I know she's facing painful memories, but aren't there Strigoi there?"

"Yes, probably a lot of them," I said.

"So why . . ."

"She's going to find him. She's going to find and kill the Strigoi who turned her."

"That's suicide! Dimitri, you have to stop her!" Lissa exclaimed, standing on the other side of the table I was using.

"Why?" Angel said. "If you bring her back she's just going to run again."

"I know," I said quietly, "which is why I'm not going to stop her." Lissa gasped. "I'm going to find her and I'm going to help her kill the son of a bitch who took her from me."

I looked around the room as I put my few belongings into my duffle.

"Lissa," I said before I left the house, "go back to school—today if possible. I want you back where you'll be safe. No arguments." I leant down and gave her a hug. "Thank you for bringing her back," I whispered.

"I didn't do it just for you," she replied.

"Same goes for you Sydney," I said, facing her. "Go home."

She smiled at me. "Abe got me a transfer to the states in return for helping you. It's almost an order home, and I always do what I'm told." We both laughed. Then she did something I would never have expected, she hugged me. She just launched herself at my torso and wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back for a lingering moment. "Be safe, Dimitri."

"Always," I replied in a whisper.

I shook hands with Angel but it turned into a hug as well. "Thank you, so much. For everything you've done."

"Thank you," he replied as we parted, "for helping me find Buffy."

"Just don't let her go again, okay?"

"Oh, I don't plan to." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little box. A little box I knew held a diamond ring, perfectly fitted to Buffy's finger. "Buff and I have been talking. We've found a way to hold the curse—a way to keep my soul in place."

I smiled widely at him. Ivan and I had always been close, but I knew I had true best friends in Angel and Sydney now. And I was oh, so happy for them. They were finally getting everything they ever wanted. Everything they deserved.

Buffy ran down stairs and gave me a simply goodbye and smile as Angel put his arm around her.

With one last longing look at my family who I had said goodbye to first, I walked out the door. Standing on the porch, I took in the late autumn air. I got into the car and started the engine. It took me a moment to find the will power to drive away.

The last month had made me weary and I felt so much older than I was. Rose always made me feel like that, whether she was with me or not. With my one duffle bag and a credit card Abe had given me to help me in my search, I pulled onto the long stretch of road before me, and continued the journey I'd come to Russia for in the first place: Searching for Roza.

My Roza.

* * *

**LOL! Sorry but you guys were easy targets. You actually thought I scrapped the sequel? Well, I'll make you a deal (that I'm totally not gonna abide by, and I'll write it anyway), if we make it to… say, over 80 reviews, I'll post a spoiler for the sequel on the end. Because it'll probably be a while before I get started on the actual story.**

**Btw, do you think the sequel should be a crossover, or not? If not, Angel might still make a cameo appearance.**

**That's it guys, see ya next time! :)**


	18. A Note From WishIWasRose

_**A Note From WishIWasRose:**_

**While I work very hard on the spoiler (which is harder than I thought it would be) I thought I'd do something nice for you all, my faithful fans and reviewers. Not one of you gave me a bad review and I love you all so much for it :)**

**Find your author name for a personal message below. NOTE: You won't be there if you haven't reviewed before this update.**

**[Oh, and they'd probably ALL make more sense if you remembered what you wrote in some of your reviews lol]**

_Miiz April _– My awesome friend and first reviewer :) thanks for helping me through all the writer's block. Also, LOL you freaked when I killed Rose and you thought I wasn't gonna bring her back.

_mintygreeny_ – My second reviewer, who taught me what UD stands for lol ;)

_Mordanyes _– We ended up pm-ing a lot, and became awesome friends. And yes, Buffy did play a major part later on :) AWESOME AUSSIES! ;)

_Mrs. B. Winchester-Belikov _– I got more reviews, yay :) And I love your name =] I wish I could be a Winchester and a Belikov. Btw, which Winchester? But I've already got dibbs on Sam lol

_Darkness Flowers_ – Your rants make me laugh, so don't stop them, ever. Rose didn't do the same twisted things Dimitri did to her in Blood Promise, BUT, Buffy did become a semi-major character, AND, Angel became Angelus. I think you scooped pretty well :P

_LovelyJubJub_ – _You're_ awesome! Thank you :)

_Jillian Mastrano 101_ – I love your pen name too :) Now I understand where you got it from lol

_dimiksgirl123 _– WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH

_natashar_ – You got more :)

_Natallie ann radosevic_ – Sorry I never got back to you, I'm just a bad person :( but thanks for your lovely review :)

_baseballshoppingmomma_ – You've always got such creative reviews =]

_Brookeeeee_ – I make dreams come true don't I? Lol

_54hay_ – I love constant reviewers, so thanks a bunch :)

_Redtailedfox_ – Did you enjoy the rest of it? :P

_talkygirl_ – love the review :)

_ZippyGal_ – It is the sci-fi show Angel, how have you never watched it? Go, I command you! Watch it ASAP!

_AngelOfDarkness97_ – This one didn't have a happy ending, but I hope you still enjoyed it =]

_regan_ – Awesomer tehe, is there an awesomer word? :P

_vampirepailaii_ – Lissa brought Rose back! Yay :)

_UnderworldVampirePrincess_ – I hated that too, which is why I refused to let it happen lol

_ELFINA01_ – Your review was just so awesome :) made my day =]

_Antonia_ – You got more :) not much, but there's more to come :P

_Willowfur_ – Of course I was gonna continue! Have more faith :P

_Taeniaea_ – Cool review ;)

_jemily_ – I cried when I wrote that chapter! But that was the aim of the chapter, so I did well ;)

_ShootingStar1994_ – Thanks for pointing out my mistakes, but I don't think I'm gonna fix them, they make me feel like a normal writer who has mistakes in published work, eg, "describrd" lol. Thanks for reviewing my other stories too :)

_Jessica_ – You're welcome :)

_MoonlitNightVampire_ – Well you'll just have to read the sequel and find out ;)

_BuffyVAgirl98 –_Aww, you make me blush :$

_LovinTheSun1996_ – I'm working on it :)

_vampiremiss _– let me guess, you're a girl of few words? Haha

_Vampyfreaket – _yeah, Lissa annoyed me heaps in the last few books, so I specifically made Lissa afraid of Rose and Rose afraid to go near her for that reason, I didn't want a repeat lol

**Bye :)**


	19. SEQUEL TEASER!

**With the note on the previous update, I wrote it ages ago and put the most recent reviewers on the end but didnt fix up the note about working on the sequel.**

**Okay, I finally got this fixed up! The main problem was choosing what to show you. Because I've got a basic plotline for what's going to happen in the sequel, I have lots of different scenes already stored in the back of my head. The other problem is, if I showed you guys something too late in the story, it could easily be changed. When I first started writing 'Searching for Roza', there was going to be no Buffy, no Sydney, Rose was going to die, then I changed that to Oksana was going to be the one who saved Rose, Abe was supposed to play a much bigger part (I actually ended up forgetting I introduced him, hence why he was tacked on the end haha) and there certainly wasn't going to be a sequel! I just never know how my stories are going to end until I get there.**

**So this section will probably be about two-thirds to three-quarters of the way through, according to the plotline I've got at the moment.**

**Dimitri and Rose are in a hotel in Novosibirsk, and it's the night before they're planning on attacking the estate to kill Nathan the Strigoi.**

**Hope it was worth the wait! :)**

* * *

"So, is this like a last meal sort of thing?" Rose asked me as she bit into one of her fries.

"No," I replied, "I thought you would like it." It was a similar conversation to when she was still at the Academy and I had bought her a new tube of her favourite lip gloss.

She must have been remembering the moment as well, because the look she gave me was similar to the one I felt forming on my own face. "Dimitri, you don't have to do this," she said as a last plea to get me to back out of this.

"I know," I replied, "but I told you, I want to. I want to for you. I'm still hoping once all this is over, you'll come home with me."

"I can't. Nobody there will welcome me back."

"There are plenty of people who will welcome you back with arms wide open."

"Well, they're stupid fools."

"Why is that?"

"You don't get it do you?" she yelled, standing abruptly from her chair. "I'm a monster!" She stormed over towards the window. She rested her forehead against the glass and then brought her hand up beside her face, resting it also on the glass. Her tone softened as she spoke, "A horrible, ugly monster and I deserve to be killed tomorrow." Turning her body back to face me, "Why can't you see that? Why do you have to be so forgiving of the things I did. You're strong, and kind, and beautiful, everything I will never be."

"Roza, you will always be beautiful to me," I said, slowly walking across the room, one step closer to her with every second. With my words, she was mirroring my actions.

"How can you still say that, after everything I did?" she whispered. "Tomorrow you're risking everything for me—you might never see any of that beautiful family again, for me. Why risk everything? Am I really worth it?"

"Rose, you are my everything. I'm doing this because I love you," I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and really, it was.

I was so close to her now, I could feel her breath as she kept her head level, not tilting to meet my gaze. She was shaking and I knew she was about to cry, so I pulled her into my arms. She crumpled my shirt in her grip and after a moment and still no actual tears, I pushed her back slightly, looking down at her.

She stared at me and so many messages passed from her eyes to mine, so I kissed her. The first thing I noticed was that she was kissing me back with the same passion she always had. Then I realised, I loved her. I loved her and I had promised to protect her. Even our best laid plan wouldn't have worked the next day, and I wanted to live my life with her for as long as possible. Going after these Strigoi was stupid and risky and I had been blindsided by love.

I pulled her closer and closer, and then she unbuttoned my shirt. I pulled her blouse over her head as we shuffled over to the bed.

"I love you, Dimitri," she whispered as I kissed down her neck, "but you deserve better than me."

* * *

**Remember, don't get your hopes up. It will probably be ages before I get started on this story. Sorry. But I hope you liked this little bit :)**

**WIWR xx ;)**

**ALSO VERY IMPORTANT! PLEASE PLEASE READ! I can't think of a name for the sequel... everything I come up with sounds tacky... any fans that are really good at coming up with story names, help me please? I have enough trouble with chapter names, which is why this is the only story I do it with haha**


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